متن پادکست:

You are listening to Cyber Podcast episode 37 – Funny fails p.1

[Raining - Car door clicks open]

A: Who told you to come down and get in the car so fast? When you rush things like this everything gets out of hand!

B: Excuse me?

A: [horn honking] Excuse me what? Start the car and get going. Wasn’t it you nagging all along that I’m always late?

B: Wowww….calm down madam. I think …

A: [interrupting B] calm down after you drive me up the wall?

B: Madam…I think you got in the wrong car!

A: Oh, give me a break… oh, who are you??? Holly cow! What’s going on here?

B: I think you wanted to get in the car in front. The one honking non-stop!

A: Jesus Christ! I’m so sorry, Sir. The rain and the steamed windshield didn’t let me see clearly! I’m awfully sorry!

B: No worries [laughingly] but please calm down or you’re gonna kill the other driver…[chuckles]

A: [laughingly] he deserves it anyway…..thanks and sorry again! [car door clicks close]

زندگی ما آدما پر از لحظات خرابکاری و اشتباهات خنده داره. البته توی لحظه اتفاق ممکنه خنده دار نباشه اما وقتی بهش فکر می کنیم داستان رو یه جور

دیگه می بینیم. درست مثل اتفاقی که ا ول پادکست افتاد. ولی سوال اینه که زمانی که اشتباه می کنیم و حتی بعدش، چه حسی داریم و چه رفتاری از

خودمون نشون میدیم؟ من ادیت هستم و توی پادکست امروز راجع به goof هامون صحبت میکنیم. پس آماده باشید که قراره روده بر بشید...

or fails we are talking about today have really mishapsthat all the let me tell you Before anything, happened and the stories are real. So, let’s get down to it!

[home ambiance- people talking and laughing]

E: that was hilarious…I don’t know what I’d do if it were me [laughing]

L: But the embarrassment…oh my God [laughing]

Z: Well, I don’t think it’s worse than the goof I made!

A: Oh, really? What could that be? [laughingly]

Z: Well, it goes back to 5 years ago when I went to Paris on a business trip.

L: Oh, you’re one lucky chap! Mission in Paris!

E: I’m sure you had a hell of a good time there with your French boss and colleagues, didn’t you?

Z: Yes that was fine , you know I am not a sort of person to mingle up, you know me very well, I am on my own most of the time.

L: Loner, that’s what you are, boring as hell. [laughingly]

Z: Ha ha ha ha… sort of ….Well, Gadbois was a classy professional lady in her mid-thirties I suppose. She was unfailingly polite and courteous. The one who apologizes for everything and nothing.

L: Hmm… So you were lucky working with such a ladylike French boss.

E: Hmm…Tell me about it!

Z: Sure, it was nice but I had the worst experience in my life.

E: Oh, why? What happened?

L: Oh, no. What went wrong

Z: You know in one occasion I was embarrassed to death…. Confused as hell… Sort of thing I had never felt before…

E: Oh, you missed a contract or client?

Z: Well, it was a funny mistake but I was really shocked. As I told you. Gadbois was very serious in her job and we only talked to each other when it was absolutely necessary. We usually texted each other.

L: Oh, I know what happened, your cell went out of juice and…

Z: No not at all. One day she texted me and asked if we should give our client our proposal. And, I texted back, “It is too early for a proposal, we should talk first.” Guess what she replied.

E: No idea.

L: Hmm…What could it be?

Z: This is what I saw in the cell phone screen.” Bien sure Cheri, Je t’adore.” In English it is “Certainly dear, I love you!!!!”

E: No way!!!!!! How Odd? What was she thinking?

L: Wow…So, weird!!!

Z: You know when I read the text I couldn’t believe my eyes, I read it for ten bloody times, I even checked the sender. It was her. I could feel the rush of blood in my head and did not know what to do.

E: So, what happened next? What did you reply?

L: If it were me, I wouldn’t reply!

Z: I thought maybe there was a misunderstanding, maybe I unintentionally insulted her and she was sarcastic. I needed to reply and there was no other way, so, I typed three question marks and sent the message.

It took a jiffy for Gadbois to rush to my office, she had a blush on her face and looked really embarrassed. She came towards me ….

E: Oh, wow… the heat of the moment, Ha Ha Ha

L: You bet [laughing]

Z: Cut the cackle, will you?

E: Sorry I was using my imagination, HaHaHa…

Z: She said in a shaky voice “Sorry Mr. Harris, I made a foolish mistake. I should apologize. I was texting my husband and replying to you at the same time. I sent the wrong message to you. I don’t know what to say.

L: Ha Ha Ha …. That was amazing.

[everyone laughs

از وقتی که تکست کردن یا پیامک دادن رواج پیدا کرده این مدل اشتباهات هم کم پیش نیومده. فکر کنم هرکسی که گوشی موبایل داره حداقل یه بار مسج

اشتباهی فرستاده. ولی خب، گاهی اوقات پیامی که رد و بدل میشه از حساسیت بیشتری برخورداره و میتونه مشکلات حادی رو بوجود بیاره. , اتفاق بد یا ناگوار

رو در انگلیسی mishap میگن که یه اسمه و توی قمستی که شنیدین هم بکار رفته بود. The mishaps have really happened . حالا وقتی

خودمون یه اشتباهی مرتکب میشیم و به عبارتی گند می زنیم بهش میگیم goof ک ه هم اسمه و هم فعل. مثلا: I goofed big time. یه اصطلاح

خوب هم در قسمت قبل داشتیم به معنی با دیگران جوشیدن یا قاطی شدن که میشه mingle up ولی اگه آدمی باشید که زیاد با کسی نمیجوشید و اکثرا

تنهایی رو ترجیح میدید، بهتون میگن loner که یک اسمه. مثلا he’s a loner . و یه نکته کاربردی دیگه که توی این بخش داشتیم استفاده از کلمات

hell و death هست برای تاکید بیشتر. مثلا گفتیم embarrassed to death و confused as hell که هر دو یعنی خیلی زیاد. خب، بریم

ببینیم دیگه چه گوفهایی دادیم...

E: Let me tell you my end of the story. It was a few years ago when my dad decided to take us to an outdoor restaurant in the outskirts of the city. It was a nice place up on the hill.

L: Hmm…nice.

E: yeah. So, the guard directed us to park the car on the side of the road, and we climbed up the hill to the restaurant. Since it was an outdoor restaurant, we spent quite a long time chilling and enjoying the food and the good view and everything.

Z: Hmm…nice. I really need such an experience now.

L: Tell me about it. Especially if it is in the spring or fall when the weather is mild.

Z: Exactly. So, tell us Lily. What happened and what went wrong?

E: Yeah, so, it was time to come back. So down we climbed the hill and approached the car only to find it crushed into a shapeless object.

Z: Jeez! How is that funny?

L: Good heavens! That’s not funny at all!

E: Yeah, so we got the biggest shock of our life and my dad started shouting at the top of his lungs at the guard who was standing there supposedly looking after the cars. He was so angry, totally lost it. And was about to punch the guard in the face for not being watchful of what was going on.

Z: Of course he would.

L: Such an anticlimax indeed!

E: Well, the climax is yet to come!

Z: Wow…

L: For goodness sake!

E: Yeah, so all pissed off and disappointed trying to calm my dad down, I looked around the car to see the extent of the disaster, when I noticed there was a doll in the car. Whose doll was it, I wondered!

Z: Oh noooo….[laughingly]

L: I think I know what happened. [chuckles]

E: I looked at the plate number and got even more flustered! It was not our car [laughingly]

[every one laughs saying Oh, no / oh wow/ no way…]

E: Yeah, and the poor guard didn’t know what to do or say…

L: So, what did you do in the end?

Z: I bet you apologized. Didn’t you?

E: No way…we were too embarrassed for the scene we’d made that we couldn’t even apologize. So, we disappeared into thin air. [laughing]…fading

هیچی بدتر از این نیست که وسط دعوا متوجه بشی که اشتباه کردی و حق با طرف مقابله. هرچی دعوا داغتر باشه اعتراف و معذرت خواهی بعدش هم سخت

تر میشه. درست مثل داستانی که شنیدین. یکی از اتفاقاتی که توی دعوا میفته کتک کاریه. مثلا بعضی وقتها آدم ا با مشت می کوبن توی صورت همدیگه که

در انگلیسی بهش میگن punch in the face . حالا اگه کتک خور شما باشید شرایط خیلی ضدحال میشه. ضدحال به انگلیسی میشه anticlimax که

یه اسمه. وقتی خیلی گیج میشین میتونین بجای کلمه confused از flustered استفاده کنین که یه هم معنی خوبه. بعضی وقتها که اوضاع خیلی به

هم میریزه و چاره ای جز در رفتن ندارین you disappear into thin air یعنی یهو غیبتون میزنه و ناپدید میشین و یا به اصطلاح در افق محو

میشین. حالا شما کدومشو ترجیح میدین؟ to punch in someone’s face or to disappear into thin air?

So what are some of your funny fails and goofs? When was the last time you were flustered or embarrassed because of a mishap? Write it in the comments.

If you are listening to this part, it means you’ve been with us throughout this episode, for which we are absolutely grateful. This podcast was brought to you by Safir Language Academy’s content development department. All the scripts can be found and downloaded on Castbox, Spotify and Shenoto.

Until next week, stay safe and away from goof, byeee.

Word or expression

Definition

Meaning in Farsi

Mishap

An unlucky accident

بدبختی، بدشانسی

Goof

A foolish mistake

خرابکاری، گند زد ن

Mingle up

Mix with others

با آدما جوشیدن، قاطی شد ن

Loner

Someone who prefers not to socialize

تنها، کسی که تنهایی را ترجیح میده د

Embarrassed to death

Too embarrassed

بسیار شرمند ه

Confused as hell

Too confused

بسیار سردرگم، گی ج

Go out of juice

Out of power or battery

بدون باتری

Proposal

A plan or suggestion, an offer for marriage

پیشنهاد )کاری (

Chilling out

Resting, relaxing

استراحت کردن

Punch in the face

Hit someon