If you've been going round and round in your head about how to fix your low libido, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I explore why we tend to overcomplicate libido and desire, and offer a completely different view on understanding your relationship with intimacy and pleasure.

Episode summary:

• Redefining libido beyond just feeling horny- Moving away from the myth that libido must mean an irrepressible urge for sex
• Sociosexual scripts and cultural conditioning - How society's narrow definition of what counts "normal" sex means you're already blocking yourself
• When you're having "duty sex"
• Understanding your upbringing and conditioning around sex

• The difference between spontaneous vs responsive desire - Understanding that waiting for spontaneous horniness is an unreliable marker for great intimacy

• Thinking about your libido as the "canary in the coal mine" - Viewing low libido as your body signaling something needs support rather than something broken
• What can block your desire and why

• What feeds desire
• The importance of context - The mental load, gender roles, patriarchy, household dynamics, and creating the right environment for bonking
• A client story
• When you're highly sensitive and sensory
• Education and models of desire - Overview of research from the Kinsey Institute on different types of desire patterns

Quotes:"Waiting for your libido to arrive magically in order to have great sex is a really unreliable marker - it's like wanting to make a million quid but waiting to win the lottery instead of creating a business plan."

"We still live in a world where female sexuality and women's bodies are something that we give. Sex is something we give, not something we enjoy and experience."

"How much has duty sex played into your intimate life, where sex was something you gave alongside all the many other things you've given? Your body and vagina is just another thing that you give - or as one of my mentors said, you're caretaking your husband with your vagina."Come to my new masterclass for women and vulva owners: Reignite Your Desire on September 23rd. It's recorded if you can't come live: https://lucyrowett.com/reignite-your-desire-a-masterclass-for-women-with-low-libido/Other episodes mentioned:

Interview with founder of female-focused porn company FrolicMe, Anna Richards.

Interview with my former client Shae Court.

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Credits:

Produced and Hosted by: Lucy Rowett

Cover Art by: Lucy Rowett

Music by: Tom M at Filmstro