Today, we’re going to be hearing from a listener named Daniel, who has an interesting situation.

He’s in a long distance relationship and he sort of reeling from the breakup and as you listen to his voice message, you’ll notice that he’s a little noncommittal on whether or not he wants his ex-girlfriend back.

It seems like, and this is a sentiment I can totally understand.

It seems like he doesn’t want to put in the work if there’s not going to be a guaranteed result.

And that’s probably the most difficult thing for a lot of people when they begin this process, whether they want to get their exes back or not.

When they’re making that decision, a lot of it’s going to be based on, well, what are my chances?

How good of a chance do I actually have?

Is this going to be a waste of my time?

And unfortunately getting your ex back from what we understand is an inexact science.

In other words, there’s nothing I can say that will guarantee your chances of success.

But what we can do, is lay out the options for you and give you a clear idea of what we think might be best for you in the long run.

And Daniel is going to tell us about his situation in a minute here.

But one thing I think is important to mention is, when you’re trying to make this decision of whether or not you should be getting your ex-girlfriend back, you should first figure out what kind of chance you have of getting her back.

Now, luckily on Ex Girlfriend Recovery I’ve put together a special quiz.

And this quiz is special because it’s designed to make you or ask you questions.

And I want you to be brutally honest as you answer these questions.

And then we’re going to take your questions, we’re going to run them through what we see between our success stories and the people who aren’t succeeding, and we’re going to spit out a score for you that will give you an idea of where you stand with your ex. So you know if you’re wasting your time or not.

So if you want to take that quiz, it’s pretty simple.

Let’s hear from Daniel!

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Daniel Wonders How To Get His Ex Girlfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship

“Hey Chris, my name is Daniel from San Diego.

I recently got out of a relationship that was about a year and a half to two years long. And how it went about is, I was in a really tough spot emotionally, my dad passed away and I lashed out on other people through cynicism. And so, it ended up to the point where my girlfriend couldn’t really take it anymore. We were doing long distance by the way.

And she just needed like, as she put it, to be selfish. So, I wanted your advice on whether or not I should try to give her the upper hand and say, she’s justified in doing that, and try to re-establish at least a friendship with her. Or if I should just let it go and accept that she wasn’t really justified in doing so. Just let me know.

Thanks.”

What To Do To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back In A Long Distance Situation

All right, Daniel from San Diego.

I want to talk about your situation quite a bit.

Because there’s a lot of parallels that I’m seeing between the women who were trying to get their ex-boyfriends back through the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast, and what you’re saying as you went through your breakup with your ex-girlfriend, right? So, let’s first recap Daniel’s situation.

So, Daniel says that he recently went through a breakup after about one and a half or two years with his ex-girlfriend.

And what he believes the catalyst for this breakup is, is the fact that his father passed away.

And of course, this just devastated him emotionally and caused him to view the world in a very cynical lens, right? So, by doing this, he pushed his girlfriend away, and then he mentions an interesting piece of information that I think is essential.

And that’s the fact that they’re long distance, right?

And so, I actually think that can play into breakups a lot more than you would actually believe. And I’m going to explain that in a little bit. He also said that one of her reasonings when she broke up with him was that, she deserved the right to be selfish. And he’s wondering if he should tell her that she’s justified, and play into purposely friend zoning himself.

So, there’s a lot to tackle here, but ultimately what I’d like to do is start by talking about some of the differences I’m noticing between men and women.

So, as you probably have heard, if you listened to the first few episodes of this Ex Girlfriend Recovery Podcast, I also run another podcast that’s quite a bit bigger, on the bigger website Ex Boyfriend Recovery.

Essentially thousands of women come every single day to the website, Ex Boyfriend Recovery, and basically try to get their exes back, their ex-boyfriends back.

And what’s interesting is, you get to notice after you interact with men who are trying to get their ex-girlfriends back and women who are trying to get their ex-boyfriends back, you notice some differences between how they interact or how they approach the situation.

Now, these are broad strokes. So by no means are they indicative of fact. I’m a big believer in that every single situation is unique, and it is in a way impossible to hit a one size fits all situation, but we can get close.

Looking At Success Stories

So what I’m looking at all of the data in front of me, the one thing I noticed about the big differences between men and women is how serious they are about getting their exes back.

Women, what I notice, when you talk to them, especially success stories, and I’m actually going to talk a little bit about this in a second.

Lately we’ve been doing this thing on the other podcast, we’ve being interviewing a lot of the success stories that are going through the program. And I’ll actually come into the conversation blind so I don’t know anything about their situation. And I like this because, ultimately if I don’t know anything about their situation, I can literally think to ask them some of the first thoughts that pop into my head.

And by doing this, the goal is to get closer and closer to understanding what the people who are succeeding are doing versus what the people who aren’t succeeding, well, they aren’t doing.

And what I’ve tend to notice is that women tend to be very, very focused from the get go on them wanting their exes back. Now, what’s interesting is today we don’t have a ton of conversations with men who have gotten their exes back because we didn’t have this podcast until just now.

The podcast is an invaluable tool, in my opinion, because it allows me to have conversations with men who are wanting to try to get their exes back succeeding and also failing. So that we can understand some of the subtle differences and basically understand what works in this process.

But there was one time in our private Facebook group. And if you go to the show notes of this episode on the Ex Girlfriend Recovery website, I’ll actually post the interview I did with the guy. But there was one guy that I did interview a couple of years ago who got his ex-girlfriend back.

His name was Aaron. And what I noticed is, even though he got his ex-girlfriend back, he seemed to be a little sort of iffy about whether or not he wanted to continue the relationship, or even totally put his all into it. And that’s actually a sentiment I noticed by a lot of men.

Women, when they go through the breakup, they want their exes back right away. Not all of them, but the ones who do, they know right away, there’s no if’s, ands, and buts about it. They want the exes back.

Men on the other hand, they know internally they want their exes back, but they have a hard time convincing themselves that that’s the right approach. And so, I couldn’t help but notice that Daniel has that same feeling. He sort of half in half out about it. He doesn’t know. You could tell he’s reeling, he’s been through a lot emotionally with the passing away of his father and now the breakup. So, for him, he’s definitely in this mentality, at least from my view, he’s in this mentality where it’s like, when it rains, it pours.

He’s thinking to himself, well, when things go bad, my father passed away and then she breaks up w