Hey there and welcome to another great episode of the Ex Girlfriend Recovery Podcast.

So if you don’t know how this podcast works, it’s pretty straightforward.

I essentially take listener questions and answer them to the best of my ability. Usually these questions relate to breakups, wanting an ex back, trying to get over an ex, everything in that realm.

And today we’re going to hear from a guy named Sebastian who has a question about jealousy, specifically, what kind of jealousy works, if you should use it and the personality types that it will work on.

But before I actually do play Sebastian’s question, my recommendation for you if you’re going through a breakup is to first gauge your situation and figure out if you even have a chance of getting your ex-girlfriend back.

And luckily for you, we put together a special resource on our website, which has been newly redesigned www.exgirlfriendrecovery.com.

It’s a special quiz designed to tell you what kind of chance you have of getting your ex girlfriend back, it’s free and it only takes two minutes to take. So my biggest recommendation for any newbie out there who’s just starting to listen to the podcast is you stop by our website and take our quiz because it will give you the ultimate starting point for what you should be doing going forward.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Sebastian Asks When It Is Appropriate To Use Jealousy On Your Ex? 

Hey Chris, this is Sebastian.

It was actually difficult to come up with a question that you haven’t maybe previously answered in one of your podcasts, YouTube videos, articles, or even eBooks. So my question is, when is it appropriate to make a jealousy post for social media? A little bit of background about me.

I dated for four and a half years, she fell out of love with me, and she broke up with me. Three weeks later, I successfully did a 30 day no contact and then we’ve been texting ever since. We’ve had 16 text exchanges so far, six of those she’s initiated, but I’ve gotten to the point to where I’m trying to build attraction, I’m sending some flirty texts and I’m getting neutral responses.

And I even got a no response once.

So I’m wondering if a jealousy post will help me cross that line to where she’d be more receptive of the flirting and the attraction text.

Let me know what you think.

All right, Sebastian, thank you so much for your question.

There’s a lot to unpack here.

So ultimately I want to kind of divide up this podcast episode into three distinct categories, which is,

1. Is sending kind of a jealousy text message or trying a jealousy ploy a good idea?


2. What types of personalities will jealousy actually work on? Because sometimes it can backfire.


3. And then, what types of jealousy tactics or techniques should you actually be trying?

The last time I actually wrote about jealousy was maybe about four or five years ago.

And we’ve learned a lot more since then about what works and what doesn’t work.

So let’s look at this podcast episode as kind of the more updated version behind what we’ve learned about jealousy. So let’s hit the ground running.

Is Using Jealousy On Your Ex Girlfriend A Good Idea?

And ultimately it depends.

So, what do I mean by that?

Well, I think a lot of people misinterpret jealousy because they only look at one singular strategy as the be-all end-all.

We see this commonly with the no contact rule.

You’ll hear people talk about the no contact rule and how important it is to use the no contact rule, but they have kind of this false belief that all they need to do to get your ex backs is just implement the no contact rule.

And it’s a lot more complicated than that.

Jealousy is kind of within that same category of complication.

Jealousy where you’re finding is a great enhancer to your overall strategy assuming that you want your ex back.

We do notice from interviewing many different success stories that there are many different factors that are patterns that the people who are successful are exhibiting that the people who aren’t successful aren’t exhibiting.

So what are some of those patterns?

Well, the first pattern we see is they’re using a no contact rule and they’re extremely disciplined with that no contact rule.

Generally speaking, they don’t break it.

The second thing is they’re using the time during no contact wisely. In other words, oftentimes you’ll hear someone who gets their ex back get to this place emotionally where they just don’t even care about getting their ex back.

It’s almost like, “Hey, that would be great if I got them back, but I’ll live without them.”

And achieving that frame of mind we’re finding is more and more important the more success stories we get a chance to interview, but we have also noticed a pattern of fear of loss.

Generally speaking, when you have the first two factors, when you are implementing a no contact rule and when you are really working on that mindset of basically not caring, I call it the devil may care attitude. It’s just sort of like, “Eh, you know what, whatever happens happens.”

That sometimes isn’t enough in and of itself to make your ex girlfriend want to come back. Oftentimes she, excuse me, needs an urgent reason to want to come back. And that is given to her through a fear of loss. Feeling like she’s going to lose you forever.

And that’s by seeing other women quote unquote, come in on her territory. So, I think jealousy can work if it’s not the only strategy that you’re using and you know that her personality type will take it seriously.

So let’s talk about the personality types for a little bit now.

What Types Of Personalities Will Jealousy Work On? 

And this is a really complicated question because we find that jealousy works really well on these types of personalities, but it’s not always a good idea if you know your ex girlfriend can’t handle the jealousy in a mature way.

Okay.

So what are the personality types?

And ultimately, if you’re looking for me to say, “Hey, this is attachment style,” I’m not going to do that.

I’m going to actually just do what we have noticed work on, for our clients on different exes, right?

• So the first type of personality that we find jealousy works extremely well on is women with low self esteem. So if you know that your ex girlfriend has a low self esteem, jealousy tends to be a lot more potent for that.


• Also, if she has exhibited a aspect of insecurity or possessiveness over you throughout the relationship, jealousy can work extremely well.


• You’ll also notice that jealousy works extremely well if she was overly dependent on you for the relationship.


• And oftentimes people who come to us that want their exes back where their ex was overly dependent on them, are the ones to break up with those exes because they just couldn’t take all of the dependence.


• And then finally, if you want the attachment style, we’re finding anxious attachment styles, jealousy works extremely well.

But that doesn’t necessarily answer the question, if we should be using jealousy in those particular personality traits.

And for this, I’m just going to tell you to be practical and use your gut.

Sometimes and I believe if you look at the reality of the situation, when you’re looking at jealousy, you need to approach it from the perspective of, is this going to help me achieve my goal?

I’m not here to help you try to make your ex girlfriend angry, to manipulate her, or anything like that.

I’m here to help you rebuild a relationship with her.

So if you know that jealousy on your particular ex girlfriend works too well to the point