Hello there, and welcome to our first official episode of the Ex Girlfriend Recovery Podcast.

Today, we’re going to be talking about a situation where you think you really have a chance, but your ex girlfriend has moved on and is now dating another dude.

We’re going to be talking about what the chances are of getting your ex back in that particular situation, as well as really what we’re seeing working and what’s not working when your ex girlfriend has moved on to another guy.

And really, before I really get started, the first thing I want to always tell everyone who is starting this process out is you really need to figure out if you have a chance of getting your ex back before you even embark on the adventure of trying to get your ex girlfriend back.

Luckily for you, we get asked this question so many times that on my website, Ex Girlfriend Recovery, I put together a special quiz that’s designed to basically answer that exact question for you and give you a few next steps on what to do going forward.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

Tom Has A Question About His Ex Girlfriend Moving On

But this podcast, like many others of its kind, it’s going to be taking listener questions. And today, we’re going to be hearing a question from a man named Tom, who has an interesting situation where his ex girlfriend has moved on to another guy. But his ex girlfriend, now that she’s with the other guy has a bit of the grass is greener syndrome and is thinking maybe it’s not going to last with the new guy.

So you’re going to get my thoughts on Tom’s situation, as well as exactly what I think he should be doing to give him the best shot of getting his ex girlfriend back.

So without further ado, let’s just hear from Tom.

“Hello. My name is Tom. My girlfriend and I broke up about nine months ago. And during that time she got with another guy, but it’s been rough for her. She says it’s been ups and downs. Recently we’ve reconnected over text and she said that she doesn’t know how long this is going to last, but hasn’t given me any indication. I told her that I really want to give it another shot, and then she started to ask me to help her sister with an issue, so I did. Then she started to send me some pictures over texts of just fun pictures of her, and then she was reminiscing our relationship, joking about how I have long hair now and she always insisted that I have short hair.

So, I’m wondering what the chances are of us getting back together. Bottom line is she’s with a guy that she told me she doesn’t know how long it’s going to last, and then she’s given me these hints over text about reminiscing, and then sending me pictures of herself doing fun things like walking the dog. What does that mean? Do I have a chance? Thanks very much. Bye.”

His Ex Girlfriend Said She Doesn’t Like The New Guy She’s With

So Tom is in one of the more interesting situations that I’ve heard in a long time, and that’s where his ex girlfriend has moved onto someone new and has basically come back to him and said, “I don’t like the guy I’m with,” but she still hasn’t broken up with the guy.

What’s up with that?

It looks like her breakup with him was around nine months ago.

He didn’t give us much details on what caused the breakup, which in my opinion or in my experience rather, usually there’s always a big catalyst for what causes a breakup when women initiate it. But I’d actually be interested to figure out if she initiated the breakup or he initiated the breakup.

So she gets with this new guy, but she’s messaging him constantly saying that she doesn’t think it’ll last with the new guy, and what does it mean when she’s sending him pictures and everything like that?

The Being There Method

The first thing I want to point out to Tom is this concept of the being there method.

This is a concept that we accidentally stumbled upon in our private Facebook support group, and that’s essentially we had a situation where my wife was essentially coaching this woman. T

his woman had been in this situation where she had been broken up with by her ex boyfriend. I realize it’s not totally relevant here, but it’s the thing that we stumbled across that really makes the difference. She ended up coaching this woman and she asked for me for help.

So this woman who had been broken up with by her ex boyfriend, her ex boyfriend had moved in with another girl and was with that other girl and living with her. She came to us and she was like, “How do I get him back?”

Before we accidentally stumbled upon this technique, we would look at each other, my wife and I, and we would be like, “Let’s try this, let’s try this, let’s try this.”

And oftentimes, our efforts were not yielding many great results. So out of the ordinary, one day, I don’t know if it was her or if it was I, but we came up with this drastic idea of, “Hey, let’s just recommend her go into a super long period of no contact, a longer period of no contact. And then when she gets done with no contact, let’s purposely get her to friend zone herself and see if the new guy or the new girl gets intimidated.” That’s almost exactly what happened.

So it’s a little bit more of the gray, I’ll be the first to admit that, but my job isn’t necessarily to find out people’s morals.

It’s to test and see what works in helping you reconnect with your ex if that’s the thing.

If it’s morally gray to you, hey, that’s on you.

That’s not on me, don’t blame me.

So anyways, what we learned is oftentimes what happens is when your ex moves on to a new guy, you need to actually have a longer period of no contact and actually get back in touch with them, but without any kind of dating involved.

You need to purposely friend zone yourself so that the new guy becomes intimidated and bam, it’s just like things.

What’s interesting is I maybe feel that’s what Tom here did without even realizing it. But he still hasn’t gotten enough to push her over the hump. She still hasn’t broken up with the new guy, even though she’s saying, “He’s not treating me very well.” And I feel like the reason that Tom is getting these reach outs from this girl is because this girl is starting to have a bit of the grass is greener syndrome.

This is maybe an odd analogy, but it’s the most relevant one I can think of.

So those of you, and I realize I have another podcast called the Ex Boyfriend Recovery Podcast, it’s got over 150 episodes or something.

So a lot of the listeners there know me and they know how nerdy I am.

Leaving Your Ex Constantly Wanting More

But since this is technically episode one of the Ex Girlfriend Recovery Podcast, you guys aren’t really familiar with me, but I’m a nerd, super big nerd. I will read epic science fantasy or science fiction and fantasy books. I’m all over that stuff. I’ll play video games in my free time. I find out I don’t really have much free time anymore.

But anyways, my birthday was a few weeks ago. Right. And because of the pandemic and everyone being stuck inside, no one would ship me anything other than they gifted me an Amazon gift card. So what was fun is with this Amazon gift card, I’m thinking, what do I want to buy? And I ended up just buying books. I ended up stumbling across this book and I knew I figured with $300 worth of an Amazon gift card, if I can’t find at least one book that interests me … and I promise, it sounds like I’m going in the woods here but I’m not, I am going to get back into the ex-girlfriend’s situation. But let me make the analogy first.

So anyways, I thought if I can’t find one book, writers must really suck by now, or I’ve read everything that’s any good. So anyways, I went through and just for two days straight, anytime I had free time, I would go through Amazon and try to bookmark books that I thought might look good before I made my purchase. And eventually I came across this book that I was thinking, “Okay, yes, I’m