Today we’re going to be talking about what to text an ex who hates you or dislikes you.

Basically, you ended on very contentious terms and you’re trying to figure out how you can kind of bridge the gap and get a conversation started.

Now, one thing that we’re going to talk about today in this podcast episode is the fact that we may have finally found a way to do just that, and we’ve been looking for a very, very long time.

But first things first, if you haven’t already, make sure you stop everything you’re doing and take the Ex Recovery Chances Quiz that we have on our website here.

All you have to do if you want to take this quiz is simply click the prompt below. It’s free. It should only take you two minutes.

And by the end you should have pretty much a good idea on whether or not you should be trying to get your ex back or not, or simply be moving on in your particular circumstance.

What Are Your Chances of Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back?

Take the quiz

What Do I Talk About With An Ex Who Hates Me?

So let’s talk about ex’s who really dislike you and you’re having trouble with texting them or starting a conversation with them.

So, always we’ve talked throughout the years … So I’ve been doing this for maybe, almost nine years now, which is a pretty long time because I feel like it’s just yesterday since I started this entire business up.

But my theory from the get-go has still proven to be the most effective one that we found, and that’s simply when you are going through a breakup and you determine that you want to get your ex back, the number one thing you should do, the theory that we have is to find a way to start a conversation with them, build value and move up the value ladder and the value chain.

So what are the value ladder and the value chains?

Well, basically the value ladder and value chains is this concept that I created to show you how different mediums occur in relationships, where you’re talking to them through text message, talking to them over the phone, talking to them in person and what you should be doing during those events.

And also the different types of conversations you need to be having with them during those type of mediums of conversations that you’ve been having.

I know it’s a little bit complicated, but if you actually go to our website, I’m going to put sort of a picture that sort of defines what this looks like visually and that should sort of clear it up. And if you’re wondering what our results have been, for the most part they’ve been pretty overwhelmingly positive, but we’ve always had one fly in the ointment, and that is contentious situations.

Now, we all know that when you go through a breakup emotions are bound to run high.

And usually when emotions bound to run high, you’re going to say things that you don’t mean, your ex is going to say things you don’t mean.

And of course when you say these things you’ll think you mean them, and when they see those things they’ll think they mean them. And of course, with the barriers of communication being what they are, it just leaves an icky feeling. Eh. But what’s interesting is, we view ex-girlfriend recovery not as a one size fits all situation, but as an organic process that’s constantly ever evolving. And that’s something and sometimes really hard for people to wrap their minds around.

See, a lot of people think that I have all the answers to their problems, that because I’ve created Ex-Girlfriend Recovery and seem to know what I’m talking about, that I know every single situation in the history of man and how to handle it.

And the truth is, I don’t. I know a lot of situations and how to handle them to give you the best chances of success, but even in circumstances where you do everything right you can still fail. And that’s a really hard pill for a lot of people to swallow, but it’s just simply the truth. And I’m not in the business of disguising the truth. The truth is that you can do everything right and still fail.

But there’s always been one really contentious issue that we’ve had, and that’s with issues where you and your ex are constantly fighting, you left on bad terms. How do you handle that? And for years we didn’t really recommend anything different for people who are in situations where … And let’s kind of structure it in levels. Let’s say level one is like you just get into a little petty disagreement and you breakup.

Level 10 is like you’re throwing things at the other person, and they’re throwing things back at you and it’s just really bad. Right?

How To Handle Extremely Contentious Situations

What is the best way to handle those contentious situations? And after eight, nine years of doing this, we think we finally found a way to diffuse those contentious situations.

And the whole reason I’m recording this podcast, is because today in my private Facebook support group there was someone who went off script, and usually those people don’t fare too well. But in this particular case it was a woman, so it’s not exactly, for those of you who are men listening to this podcast, it’s not exactly a perfect fit to your situation, but I think the tactic and the technique still applies.

And that is, she used a strategy. She went off script. She used a strategy that we don’t recommend because we haven’t tested it out enough, but I’ve been reading a lot about it called labeling.

So let me set up the environment for you.

So there’s a girl in our private Facebook group, she purchased my program, the Ex-Boyfriend Recovery Program. Also, if you don’t know, I own a website also called Ex-Boyfriend Recovery in tandem with Ex-Girlfriend Recovery, and as you can guess, it helps women try to get ex’s back, and Ex-Girlfriend Recovery helps men trying to get ex’s back. I know, very original.

But anyway, she’s in the program, and you get access when you buy any of our programs to a private Facebook support group.

And she said she did a no contact rule. She did 45 days no contact rule.

This has been her third breakup. And she decided not to take our advised text messages, but to kind of do her own version of one. And I’m actually going to pull the text message up so that I can read it to you because I think it’s really interesting.

Okay. So, here is her text message word for word.

“Hey, hope all’s well, happy face. I was at work yesterday when a regular customer from Bridgewater came in. Reminded me to reach out to you and let you know I don’t hate your guts, laugh out loud. Hope you already know that. I truly pray that you’ll regain your blah, blah, blah,” and it just kind of goes on from there.

I basically said the important part that you needed to hear. So what’s interesting is the reason this text message stuck out to me … And by the way, she got a response and it was a really, really good response.

But the reason this text message stuck out to me is because I’ve been researching a concept.

I’ve been reading a book called Never Split the Difference. It’s by Chris Voss, he was the FBI’s lead international hostage negotiator.

So this guy was literally sent to hostage situations and forced to diffuse them.

And one thing he talks about in the book is the fact that you’re a failure if just one person loses their life.

So it’s kind of an all or nothing deal if you’re a hostage negotiator. And I figured, well, what a perfect thing to use for breakups, because many of my clients kind of put themselves in these all or nothing situations where they’re heartbroken if th