Ready to learn about the basic male behaviors you can expect after a breakup. In this in-depth guide, Coach Amor and I are going to answer,

• Why there are 7 stages of grief that men will go through after a breakup


• The 10 most common behaviors men typically engage in after breakups


• How men show their emotions differently than women after a breakup


• Why some men move on quickly after a breakup whereas others struggle to let go.

There aren’t too many areas of the male psyche that Amor and I are going to leave uncovered in this one so buckle up.

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There Are Actually 7 Stages Of Grief When It Comes To Breakups

I mean, we’ve all heard of the five stages of grief, right?

Well, according to Suzanne Lachmann Psy.D., there are actually 7 stages to grieving a breakup,

1. Desperate for answers


2. Denial


3. Bargaining


4. Relapse


5. Anger


6. Initial acceptance


7. Redirected Hope

To be honest with you I did a blow by blow of these seven stages last week in this article and in this video,

So if you want understand how those seven stages work then definitely check out those resources (cause lord knows I don’t have the patience to write another 800 words describing the stages again.)

I bring this up though because really the meat of this article is the typical behaviors that men will “show” after a breakup and each of those behaviors fall into one of the seven stages of grief above so I feel like having at least a working knowledge of those seven stages is important.

Thus, do your research ladies (or gents.)

Alright, let’s get to the reason for why you’re actually here.

Here’s How Men Typically Behave After A Breakup

Below is a list of the 10 most common behaviors we have observed men exhibit after a breakup.

1. Distract themselves


2. Separation Elation


3. Social Media Creeping


4. Self Destructive Behaviors


5. Uptick In Social Media Posts


6. Trying To Make You Jealous


7. Going Back To The Phantom Ex


8. Ask for you back (Bargaining)


9. Angry (Lash out)


10. Your fault (demonize you)

Let’s start from the top.

Behavior #1: They Distract Themselves

It is common for men to distract themselves, whether they are the ones who ended the relationship or the ones who ended things with you.

Some common examples of post-breakup behavior that I have observed in men include,

• partying excessively


• playing games (both mobile and PlayStation)


• and spending a lot of time with friends.

Interestingly, some men may not post much on social media. Still, when they do, they almost overcorrect as if trying to “prove that they are ok.”

The reality is that they may have spent the whole day playing games or going to a party for only an hour but made it seem like they were out all night.

By focusing on other activities, they try to avoid feeling the pain of the breakup. Still, they may also need to hide their emotions from others

Behavior #2: Separation Elation

God I feel like a broken record.

I swear I have talked about this everywhere on the website but perhaps none more famously than this video and article,

As you probably know by now most of our clients believe that their exes have an avoidant attachment style,

Which means that most of our clients exes probably experience some variation of the following cycle,

This is the relationship death wheel of which there are eight main stages,

1. I want someone to love me


2. I found someone my troubles are over


3. I’m noticing some worrying things


4. I’m thinking of leaving


5. I’ve decided to leave the relationship


6. I’m so happy that I left


7. I’m starting to feel kind of lonely


8. Why can’t I ever find the right person

It’s really that sixth stage that concerns us here. The whole “I’m so happy that I left” stage.

This is known as “separation elation” or as my favorite avoidant resource, Free To Attach likes to put,

After a relationship ends, people with an avoidant attachment style tend not to show much anxiety or distress, often feeling an initial sense of relief at the relinquishing of obligations and the sense that they are regaining their self-identity, and not tending to initially miss their partner – this is “separation elation” as the pressure to connect is gone.

So, all those times that you are worried about your ex boyfriend looking happy without you, well, it’s real.

But in almost every case it doesn’t last because stages seven and eight of the death wheel are right around the corner.

Behavior #3: Social Media Creeping

Let’s talk stats.

According to the Veronica Lucaks and graduate student who conducted a study on Facebook creeping as part of her Media Studies Masters thesis,

Close to 90% of exes admitted to “facebook creeping”

So yes, your ex will probably be spying on you post breakup. If you want to know how you should be handling that I recommend you check out my social media guide.

But ultimately the question almost always turns to some variation of,

Well, my ex is different, they’d never do this. (Yes, yes they will, the statistics bear it out.)

Or my personal favorite,

Well, my ex isn’t even on social media. (I have heard DIRECTLY from exes in success story interviews that they either used a friend or signed up JUST to spy.)

Behavior #4: Self Destructive Behaviors

I’ve been playing around with Chat GPT lately.

(Don’t worry I’m still writing my own articles.)

But I got curious about it’s ability to find me research to back up my points and it DID. Problem was all the research it “found” was made up.

But the one consistent thing that it would always relate to breakups and men is that they are very prone to exhibiting self destructive behaviors.

See for yourself,

It’s actually pretty accurate.

• Substance abuse


• Reckless behaviors


• Isolation


• Avoidance


• Promiscuity

But the real problem with chat GPT is that it usually spits out generic information (right now at least.) So, allow me to add my own spin to destructive behaviors.

All throughout my life I always wanted a tattoo.

My mom said no.

My dad said no.

My very first girlfriend looked disgusted when I told her I wanted one.

Hell, even my best friend didn’t look all too pleased when I dropped a hint.

Well, during my very first breakup ever to my first girlfriend in my anger and grief I decided THAT was the best time to get a tattoo.

My way of rebelling was to get this tattooed onto my left shoulder,

It means freedom.

Behavior #5: You See An Uptick In Social Media Posts

This one is kind of interesting and it has a direct connection with separation elation.

Basically when a guy is “feeling himself” after a breakup one of the behaviors you’ll notice that he engages in is that he’ll start posting on social media, a lot.

Yes, sometimes they can be p