As the negotiators started discussing options and making

proposals, a second difference emerged. Most people think of arguments as being like a pair of scales: the more reasons we can pile up on our side, the more it will tip the balance in our favor. Yet the experts did the exact opposite: They actually presented fewer reasons

to support their case. They didn’t want to water down their best points. As Rackham put it, “A weak argument generally dilutes a strong one.”

The more reasons we put on the table, the easier it is for people to discard the shakiest one. Once they reject one of our justifications, they can easily dismiss our entire case. That happened regularly to the average negotiators: they brought too many different weapons to

battle. They lost ground not because of the strength of their most compelling point, but because of the weakness of their least compelling one.

These habits led to a third contrast: the average negotiators were more likely to enter into defend-attack spirals. They dismissively shot down their opponents’ proposals and doubled down on their own positions, which prevented both sides from opening their minds. The skilled negotiators rarely went on offense or defense.

Instead, they expressed curiosity with questions like “So you don’t see any merit in this proposal at all?”

Questions were the fourth difference between the two groups. Of every five comments the experts made, at least one ended in a question mark. They appeared less assertive, but much like in a dance, they led by letting their partners step forward.

Recent experiments show that having even one negotiator who brings a scientist’s level of humility and curiosity improves outcomes for both parties, because she will search for more information and discover ways to make both sides better off. She isn’t telling her

counterparts what to think. She’s asking them to dance. Which is exactly what Harish Natarajan does in a debate.

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📚هایلایت قسمت 70 کتاب Think Again

✅ Negotiator: A person who discusses and reaches agreements, مذاکره‌کننده

✅ Option: A choice or alternative, گزینه

✅ Proposal: A suggestion or plan put forward, پیشنهاد

✅ Emerge: To appear or become visible, ظاهر شدن / پدیدار شدن

✅ Argument: A reason or set of reasons given to support a point, استدلال / بحث

✅ Pile up: To accumulate or collect, انباشته شدن / روی هم جمع شدن

✅ Tip the balance: To influence the outcome, ترازوی نتیجه را به نفع کسی سنگین کردن

✅ Water down: To make something weaker or less effective, ضعیف کردن / کم‌اثر کردن

✅ Dilute: To weaken or reduce the strength, رقیق کردن / تضعیف کردن

✅ Discard: To throw away or reject, کنار گذاشتن / رد کردن

✅ Shaky: Weak, uncertain, ضعیف / ناپایدار

✅ Justification: A reason or explanation for something, توجیه / دلیل منطقی

✅ Dismiss: To reject or disregard, رد کردن / نادیده گرفتن

✅ Compelling: Convincing or persuasive, قانع‌کننده / جذاب

✅ Defend-attack spiral: A cycle of defending oneself and attacking the opponent, چرخه دفاع و حمله

✅ Shoot down: To reject or criticize sharply, رد کردن / انتقاد شدید کردن

✅ Double down(on): To commit strongly to a position, محکم ایستادن بر موضع خود

✅ Offense: The act of attacking, حمله

✅ Defense: The act of protecting or defending, دفاع

✅ Curiosity: A desire to learn or know, کنجکاوی

✅ Merit: Value or worth, ارزش / شایستگی

✅ Assertive: Confident and self-assured, قاطع / مطمئن

✅ Humility: The quality of being humble, تواضع

✅ Better off: In a more favorable situation, در وضعیت بهتر / وضع بهتر

✅ Counterpart: A person or thing corresponding to another, همتای کاری / طرف مقابل

✅ Outcome: The result or effect of an action, نتیجه / پیامد