When Is It Wise To Give Up On Your Goal?
Description
Every time you quit before realizing an important goal without giving your best effort, you make it easier to quit next time. Soon, quitting becomes your default.
Knowing when to quit is a skill worth learning. Learn it well and you’ll know you’re making an excellent choice. Fail to learn this lesson and you’ll always be second guessing yourself: “Did I do the right thing? Could I have found a way to keep going? Should I have tried harder?”As the saying goes, “Discipline weighs ounces; regret weighs tons.”
Hey there. It’s me, Kore. And you’re listening to Exercising Self-Control: From Fitness To Flourishing.
The Principle
Here’s the main idea:
You can only quit if you can honestly say you’ve given 100% effort to succeed.
But what does 100% actually look like?
It means you’ve had the difficult conversation, sought mentorship, adjusted your approach multiple times, and exhausted your legitimate options. It’s not just that you tried until it got uncomfortable. It means you’ve faced your resistance, pushed past comfort, and been radically honest with yourself about what’s possible.
Once you feel the inclination to quit, you must first dig deep. Face your demons and fears. Then give it one more complete effort to make it work. If you can honestly say you’ve done all you can and you still want to quit, it’s the right decision.
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
The 84-Day Framework
The 84-day commitment that’s part of The Practice that I recommend makes this principle practical. 84 days is long enough to create major change but short enough to maintain your commitment. Execute with excellence for 84 solid days.
This timeframe removes the temptation to quit frivolously. You’re not signing up for a lifetime; you’re committing to a defined period of full engagement.
When It’s Right to Quit
But there are legitimate reasons to quit before the end of the 84-day commitment:
* A Values Misalignment: The goal no longer fits who you’re becoming or is no longer consistent with your highest values.
* It Drains Your Energy: The pain, frustration, or drawbacks outweigh the benefits, negatively impacting your mental health and well-being.
* Your Progress Has Stalled: You’ve exhausted reasonable options and have no realistic way to move forward, even with small steps.
* You’ve Outgrown It: The goal has become a distraction from even better options.
In all these scenarios you need to make a decision.
If your partner violates an agreement, if the business model becomes unethical, if circumstances change fundamentally (e.g. new job, location change, health issues) you need to adapt on the fly. These aren’t failures of effort. They’re changes in the game itself. You must maintain your integrity. Quitting under these conditions isn’t frivolous, it’s principled.
The Real Cost
However, if you quit without giving your best effort whatever the circumstances, you make it easier to quit the next time challenges arise. Convenience becomes your standard. Continuing through difficulty requires far more strength than walking away.
The person who quits too easily becomes someone who needs circumstances to cooperate. The person who quits well becomes someone who can keep going despite the circumstances.
As the Carthagian general Hannibal Barca is quoted as saying when told it would be impossible to cross the Alps with war elephants: “I will either find a way or make one.”
Take A Break Before You Decide
Before you quit, ask yourself: Have I truly given everything, or am I just tired?
It may be that you need a rest from the struggle. Take a break if you can. As much time as you need. Even just a day can be enough. Deliberate development and growth is often uncomfortable. There will be times everyone will question their choices.
Don’t make hasty decisions, if at all possible. Take the time to determine what’s really happening. If the break doesn’t have you eager to get back in action you may have reached the end of that particular journey.
It takes as much skill to quit well as it does to follow through well, perhaps even more. Quitting is easy, they say. Not if you do it right it isn’t.
That’s it for today. Catch you next time.
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