"Am I a cross-dresser or am I trans?" "Is my cross-dressing just a kink or my true gender identity?" These are some of the biggest questions in the kink community.

In this special episode, we talk with Roisen, who sits at the unique intersection of these worlds. Roisen is a gender-fluid cross-dresser and a Nurse Practitioner working in trans-affirming care.

Roisen shares his powerful personal journey of navigating the "pink fog" of fetishization, discovering his non-sexual feminine self, and how he successfully came out to his wife of 15 years.

We discuss the right way to tell your partner about cross-dressing (hint: it's not a "200 lb trauma dump"), the power of "baby steps," and the critical difference between "tolerating" your gender and having gender dysphoria. This is a masterclass in gender, identity, and kink.

0:00 - Intro: The Intersection of Cross-Dressing & Trans-Affirming Care1:40 - Welcome Roisen: A Cross-Dresser & Nurse Practitioner2:20 - Roisen's Experience in Trans-Affirming Care3:15 - Being "Out" at Work (Using He/Him & She/Her)5:30 - "I Don't Consider Myself Transgender"6:00 - Patient Journeys: Some Start as Cross-Dressers, Some Don't8:45 - The Stigma of Cross-Dressing (Is it a Kink or Identity?)10:00 - Why Roisen is "Out" at Work (An Act of Trust)14:00 - Advice for "Am I a Cross-Dresser or Am I a Woman?"14:45 - The "Paint Sample" Analogy (Spectrum vs. Gradient)16:15 - Why Roisen Moved from "Cross-Dresser" to "Gender Fluid"17:00 - Roisen's Origin Story (The Halloween Fairy)18:45 - The Internet Rabbit Hole & Fetishization19:50 - "Lost in the Pink Fog"22:00 - Realizing It's Not Just Sexual23:15 - 15-Year Relationship: Telling His Wife24:00 - "Roisen is Barbie" (Wife's Lack of Interest vs. Derision)26:45 - How NOT to Tell Your Partner (The "200 lbs of Trauma" Dump)28:30 - The RIGHT Way: Building a Culture of Acceptance29:30 - The "Baby Steps" Method (Painting Nails, Facials)31:30 - "Hold Yourself So You Can Hold Them"33:15 - Was There One Pivotal Moment? (No, Many Small Clicks)35:30 - Moving Kink Into the Bedroom (And Failing at First)37:00 - Finding a Healthy Sex Life (Switching & Dom/Sub)39:15 - The "0 to 100" Problem (Porn vs. Reality)40:30 - BDSM Munches & Communication41:30 - The "Sissy Maid" Fantasy (It's a "Play")43:00 - Is There Tension Between Trans & Cross-Dressing Communities?45:00 - Why the Trans Community is "Guarding" (Fear & Safety)46:00 - The "Day Walker" Privilege48:00 - Shame & Fear in the Cross-Dressing Community49:00 - Terminology: "Cross-Dresser" vs. "Gender Fluid"52:00 - What Does "Gender Queer" Mean?54:00 - Why is Cross-Dressing Seen as "Just a Kink"?55:00 - The Benefit of "Sissification" (A "Petri Dish" for Exploration)58:00 - Advice for Those Unhappy as a Man59:00 - "That's a Person Who Needs Professional Help"59:45 - Gender Dysphoria vs. Gender Incongruence1:01:00 - "It's Not Good Enough to Tolerate Your Gender"1:02:00 - Fear of "Pandora's Box"1:03:00 - Final Thoughts: "I Was That 16-Year-Old Boy"1:04:00 - Outro