Coupled With...

You know that moment mid-argument when you think, “Haven’t we had this exact fight before?” The same tone, the same roles, the same ending where both of you feel unseen. Every couple has a signature loop—what emotionally focused therapy calls a negative cycle.In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck breaks down the three most common fight loops from EFT—Find the Bad Guy, The Protest Polka, and Freeze and Flee—and explains why they all share one thing in common: when love feels shaky, your nervous system trades connection for protection.Learn how to recognize your own pattern, understand what your reactions are really protecting, and start practicing small, nervous-system-safe interruptions that stop the spiral before it takes over.Rachel also introduces her grounding tool, Pause, Name, and Soften, a simple three-step practice to help you shift from reactivity to reconnection.If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same argument on repeat, this episode will help you see your cycle clearly—and start changing it for good.Key Topics Covered:Why couples repeat the same fight over and overThe 3 negative cycles: Find the Bad Guy, Protest Polka, Freeze & FleeHow the nervous system drives conflict patternsWhy “communication problems” are really protection problemsHow to interrupt the loop using Pause, Name, and SoftenWhat co-regulation looks like in real-time repairResources:Break the Cycle Self-Guided Workbook to break the fight cycle in 7 daysWA state residents can inquire about therapy: www.northseattlecouplescounseling.com

If a quick “I’m sorry” could fix everything, relationships would be easy. But when the same rupture happens again—and again—the words start to lose their weight. In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck unpacks why repeated apologies without consistent change create nervous system burnout, how this cycle erodes trust, and what your body actually needs before it can believe safety is real again.You’ll learn why good intentions and genuine remorse aren’t enough to rebuild security, how stress pulls us back toward old patterns, and what real repair sounds and feels like when it finally starts to land. Rachel also shares her three R’s of real repair—Recognize, Reflect, and Repeat Differently—a simple framework for interrupting empty apologies and rebuilding connection through action instead of promises.If you’ve ever thought, “They mean it, but nothing changes,” this episode will help you understand why—and what true repair looks like in practice.Key Topics CoveredWhy “I’m sorry” starts to feel hollow over timeHow repeated apologies create nervous system fatigueThe difference between good intentions and embodied changeWhy your body stops believing promises without consistencyHow to rebuild safety through small, repeatable actionsThe 3 R’s of real repair: Recognize, Reflect, Repeat DifferentlyResources:If you're in WA state and want to connect with Dr. Rachel in her therapy practice: www.northseattlecouplescounseling.comFree 7 Day Email Course: Break the Cycle of Conflict: www.drrachelorleck.com

We love to glorify the “chill” partner—the one who doesn’t fight, doesn’t need much, and keeps everything smooth. But what looks like calm often hides a nervous system in overdrive. In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck unpacks how emotional suppression gets mislabeled as strength, why “low-maintenance” love can quietly erode trust, and how the pursue-withdraw cycle turns silence into self-protection.Learn why avoidant patterns don’t come from a lack of love but from too much overwhelm—and how to begin replacing politeness with real safety. You’ll also hear how small, honest moments can transform disconnection into co-regulation.If you’ve ever been called “the chill one” or wondered why your partner seems emotionally distant, this episode will help you see what’s really happening underneath the calm.Key Topics CoveredThe cultural myth of the “chill” partner and why it’s secretly exhaustingHow emotional suppression becomes a survival strategy, not a personality traitThe nervous-system logic behind withdrawal and shutdownHow “calm” can actually signal dysregulationThe pursue-withdraw dance and why both partners are protecting love in different waysWhat real calm and emotional authenticity look like in practiceA simple reflection to move from I’m fine to I’m realCelebrationBefore diving in, Rachel celebrates a major milestone—over 1,000 downloads of Coupled With…! She shares heartfelt gratitude and invites listeners to leave a rating, review, or share the show to help others find this work.Resources:Want to explore working with Dr. Rachel in therapy?Check out her private practice website: www.meaningfuljourneycounseling.com

You know the script. Something feels off, your partner asks if you’re okay, and out comes the automatic, “I’m fine.” You tack on a smile or change the subject, hoping the tension will disappear. But it doesn’t—it just goes underground.In this episode, Rachel breaks down why “I’m fine” is one of the most common—and most damaging—phrases in relationships. What sounds like peacekeeping is actually a nervous system strategy to avoid conflict, overwhelm, or rejection. It might calm things momentarily, but over time it erodes trust.You’ll learn how this quiet reflex trains your partner not to believe your words, and why uncertainty can damage safety faster than conflict ever could. Rachel explains that “I’m fine” isn’t lying—it’s your body trying to survive discomfort. But protection and connection aren’t the same thing.Using a powerful new reframe, Dr. Rachel introduces the F.I.N.E. acronym—Freaked Out, Insecure, Numbed Out, and Exhausted—to show what’s really happening beneath the surface when we disconnect from honesty.You’ll also learn:Why “I’m fine” is a nervous system shield, not a communication failure.How small, imperfect truths build more safety than denial ever can.What to say instead when you don’t yet have the words for what’s wrong.How to use the F.I.N.E. self-check to notice survival mode before it hijacks connection.Because honesty doesn’t mean dumping everything in the moment—it means aligning your energy and your words so your partner can trust both.If “I’m fine” has been your reflex, this episode will help you recognize it as protection, not failure—and guide you toward micro-honesty that actually restores closeness.Key Quote“I’m fine isn’t a flaw—it’s your nervous system trying to protect you. But protection isn’t the same as connection. Small honesty builds more safety than silence ever will.”Listen + ConnectIf this episode resonates, share it with someone who hides behind “I’m fine” when they really mean “I’m not okay.”ResourcesFree 7 Day Email Course:Break the Cycle: 7 Days to Break the Conflict Cycle

Sex is supposed to bring us closer, but sometimes it becomes something else—obligation, reassurance, or quiet avoidance.You say yes because it feels easier than saying no. Your partner pushes for closeness hoping it will fix the distance. Both of you are trying to connect, but end up feeling lonelier than before.In this episode, Rachel unpacks the difference between solace sex—sex used as a band-aid for disconnection—and safe sex, the kind that grows from empathy, curiosity, and nervous system safety.You’ll learn why survival strategies often take over in the bedroom, how attachment patterns like anxious pursuit and avoidant withdrawal collide, and why even “tender” sex can leave partners feeling drained when it’s driven by fear instead of aliveness.Drawing from both client stories and her own marriage, Rachel explores:Why saying yes out of duty or fear can quietly erode connection.How your nervous system confuses sex with safety—and what to do when that happens.What research (including Emily Nagoski’s) says about empathy and communication as the real predictors of great sex.Three questions that can help you shift from survival mode to genuine connection:What would bring me connection right now?What might help my body feel more alive?Am I willing to speak that out loud and see if my partner can meet me there?This episode isn’t about blaming or fixing—it’s about noticing. Because when you can tell the difference between sex that soothes fear and sex that nurtures safety, you can begin to rebuild intimacy that restores instead of depletes.Key Quote“Solace sex may ease tension for a moment, but it leaves partners emptier. Safe sex builds honesty and aliveness—it’s where empathy replaces performance.”Listen + ConnectIf this episode hit home, share it with a friend or partner who needs to hear it.ResourcesFree 7 Day Email Course:Break the Cycle: 7 Days to Break the Cycle of Conflict

If you’re the one constantly managing emotions, plans, or repair in your relationship, this episode is for you. You may not call it by name, but what you’re experiencing is relationship burnout—the quiet exhaustion that comes from overfunctioning and carrying more than your share of the emotional load.Dr. Rachel Orleck breaks down what really drives overfunctioning in relationships and why it’s not a character flaw—it’s a nervous system survival strategy. You’ll learn how your body equates doing more with staying safe, why you keep trying to fix or manage everything, and how to start stepping out of that exhausting cycle without guilt or withdrawal.💡 You’ll hear:What overfunctioning actually means (and how it shows up in everyday relationship dynamics)The difference between caring and controlling when you’re trying to keep the peaceHow emotional labor leads to resentment and disconnection over timeA simple two-step pause practice to help you stop overexplaining and start balancing your energyWhy setting micro-boundaries can create more connection—not conflictThis episode will help you understand why you feel so responsible for keeping everything calm, and why letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you’re finally trusting your relationship to hold both of you.Key TakeawayOverfunctioning in relationships isn’t proof that you’re controlling—it’s proof that your body once had to keep everyone safe. Learning to pause, regulate, and rebalance is how you start healing relationship burnout from the inside out.Free Resources:Break the Cycle: 7 days to break the conflict cycle (Email Course)

The fight is over, but your body hasn’t gotten the memo. The air feels heavy. You’re calm enough to regret what happened, but your nervous system is still running the emergency drill. In that “aftershock window,” shame convinces you that fixing the relationship immediately is the only way to feel safe.But urgency isn’t intimacy.In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck explains how shame masquerades as responsibility—fueling rushed apologies, over-functioning, or emotional withdrawal—and why those survival strategies keep real repair out of reach. Instead of erasing your reaction with self-blame, you’ll learn how to slow down, regulate, and repair in a way that actually lands.You’ll LearnWhat the aftershock window is and why it mattersHow shame disguises itself as accountabilityWhy “performance apologies” erode trust instead of repairing itHow to tell when your body and your relationship are both ready for repairThe Two Green Light Check for knowing when to re-engageA simple, one-breath repair framework that builds safety instead of pressureKey Quotes“Urgency is not intimacy.”“Shame convinces you that the only way to prove care is to punish yourself.”“You can’t build safety while you’re busy destroying yourself.”“Accountability is forward-facing; shame keeps you locked in the past.”TakeawayRepair doesn’t require a grand gesture—it requires regulation, pacing, and honesty. Check for two green lights: one from your body, one from your bond. Then keep your repair small, specific, and steady. That’s what teaches your nervous system that love can survive imperfection.Listen now to learn how to calm the aftershock of shame and create repairs that actually rebuild connection.Free Resources:Break the Cycle: 7 Day Email Course to Break the Conflict Cycle

You thought you met “the one.” The texts were constant, the chemistry electric, the declarations over the top. It felt like the kind of love story movies are made of—until the calls stopped, the plans evaporated, and you were left reeling.That’s the whiplash of love bombing and ghosting. The high feels intoxicating, but the crash leaves you doubting yourself, shrinking, and working twice as hard to keep someone from slipping away.In this episode of Coupled With…, Dr. Rachel Orleck unpacks:Why fireworks feel like connection but aren’t the same as intimacyHow dopamine fuels chaos, while oxytocin builds steadinessThe exhausting loop of over-functioning when intensity fadesPractical reflection questions to tell the difference between clarity and chaosWhat secure love really feels like—and why “calm” isn’t the same as “boring”Secure love may not start with fireworks, but it lasts longer than any spark. If you’ve ever been love bombed, ghosted, or caught in the cycle of chasing intensity, this conversation will help you reframe the story and recognize the kind of love that’s built to stay.Free Resources:7 Day Email Course to Break the Conflict Cycle

We’re taught to treat anger like a bomb—dangerous, destructive, proof that something is broken. But what if anger isn’t the enemy? What if it’s the smoke alarm in your relationship, not the fire itself?In this episode of Coupled With…, I break down why anger feels so threatening—whether you’re the one who’s angry or the one on the receiving end—and how it actually functions as a nervous system signal that something important needs attention.We’ll explore:Why the angry partner often feels like they’re fighting for the relationship, while the receiving partner feels attacked.How dismissing anger breeds resentment and fuels painful stories of being “too much” or “unlovable.”The difference between treating anger as a threat (shut down, withdraw, punish) versus a signal (get curious, set boundaries, repair).Practical ways to respond to anger that honor the emotion without letting it hijack the room.The goal isn’t to eliminate anger—it’s impossible and, honestly, would rob your relationship of honesty and passion. The goal is to respond differently. To see anger as an entry point to connection, not the end of it.If anger has felt like the fire that burns everything down, this episode will help you reframe it as the alarm—loud, yes, but useful. A signal saying: Please don’t miss me here.Listen in, and let’s start treating anger as the messenger, not the monster.FREE Resources:Break the Cycle: 7 Day Email Course to Break the Conflict Cycle

If a quick “I’m sorry” actually fixed relationships, I’d be out of a job. My clients tell me this all the time: He apologized, but I still feel awful. Why can’t I just accept it and move on?Here’s the truth: your body isn’t broken for needing more. An apology without safety is like slapping a bandaid on a cut that hasn’t been cleaned—it looks like repair, but underneath, things are still festering.In this episode, I break down:Why rushed apologies feel like pressure instead of healingThe role of your nervous system in deciding if an apology “lands”How everyday ruptures—missed commitments, sharp words, moments of invisibility—become triggers when apologies don’t connectThe difference between a performance apology and an embodied oneA simple two-question check-in to know if you’re ready to accept (or offer) repairAt the core, this isn’t about perfect words. It’s about creating the safety your body needs so that “I’m sorry” becomes a bridge, not a wall.If apologies have ever left you feeling tense instead of soothed, this conversation will reframe the entire process. Remember: Safety before sorry.✨ Tune in now to learn how slowing down and softening creates space for real repair and deeper connection. ✨Free Resources:Email Course: Break the Cycle - 7 Days to Break the Conflict Loopwww.drrachelorleck.com

Winning the argument feels good for about two seconds—until the silence sets in and you realize you’re sitting next to someone who feels even further away. In this episode of Coupled With…, Dr. Rachel Orleck unpacks why being “right” in conflict so often leaves us lonelier, and what we’re really fighting for underneath the dishes, the tone, or the thermostat.We’ll explore:Why proving your point rarely brings the closeness you wantThe painful loop of “scorekeeping” that makes both partners feel unseenA reframe that softens shame and reveals what you’re truly longing forHow your nervous system reacts when you feel misunderstood (and why fights escalate so fast)The difference between the Conflict Loop and the Connection LoopA simple, one-line tool to shift arguments toward empathy instead of exhaustionThis isn’t about never fighting again. It’s about understanding the deeper need beneath the argument and choosing closeness over “rightness” when it matters most.Free Resources:Breaking The Cycle: 7 Day Email Course to Break the Fight Cyclewww.drrachelorleck.com

We’ve all been sold the same fantasy: if you just find the right person — someone “perfect” — everything will finally feel easy. No more spirals, no more fights that last for days, no more wondering if you matter. But here’s the hard truth: that partner doesn’t exist.In this episode of Coupled With…, I break down why chasing the idea of a perfectly secure partner keeps you stuck in disappointment, and what actually creates security in love. Spoiler: it’s not about finding the flawless unicorn who never triggers you — it’s about building the right patterns together.We’ll explore:The cultural myth of the “perfectly secure partner” and how it sets you up to failThe real emotional loops couples get stuck in (silence that feels like a canyon, conflict that never ends)Why your nervous system panics faster than your logic — and how that plays out in relationshipsThe two paths: conflict loops vs. connection loopsOne simple, practical tool to interrupt spirals and create space for repairThis isn’t about settling or lowering your standards. It’s about trading the fairytale for something stronger and more real: a love that’s steady, imperfect, and built in the moments you come back to each other.Free Resources:7 Day Email Course: Break the Cycle: 7 Days to Breaking the Fight CycleFind it at: www.drrachelorleck.com

If you’ve ever wondered why you and your partner seem to be on completely different wavelengths when it comes to sex and intimacy—you’re not alone.In this episode of Coupled With…, I sit down with Dennis and Kim Eames, EFT couples therapists (and a married couple themselves), to explore the crisscross pattern: when one partner reaches for emotional closeness while the other reaches for sexual connection. What often follows? Misunderstandings, pressure, rejection—and a deep sense of loneliness, even when you’re right beside each other.We break down:Why one partner often pursues emotionally while the other pursues sexuallyHow these patterns can accidentally send messages of rejection or unworthinessThe difference between solace sex and sealed-off sex—and why neither leads to true closenessSmall but powerful ways to translate your bids for connection so your partner doesn’t miss themThis isn’t about who’s right or wrong. Underneath both patterns is the same longing: Do you want me? Do I matter to you?If intimacy has ever felt like a battleground in your relationship, this conversation will help you see the cycle clearly—and start shifting it toward connection instead of disconnection.About Dennis & Kim Eames, LMFTsDennis and Kim are passionate about guiding couples through the Emotionally Focused Therapy process that transformed their own marriage. When the quick fixes and band-aids stopped holding things together, EFT helped them rebuild into a securely connected partnership—one with more stability, closeness, and passion than they imagined possible.Both are Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists practicing in Federal Way, WA, and across the state via telehealth. Together, they also lead Hold Me Tight Seattle workshops for couples.Dennis is a Certified EFT Couple, Family, and Individual Therapist & SupervisorLearn more: Infinity Family Therapy | EFT Intensives | Hold Me Tight Seattle | FacebookResources from Dr. Rachel💌 Free 7-Day Email Course: Break the Cycle🌐 Explore my new site + projects: Attachment Revolution

🎙️ Episode SummaryYou’re trying to connect—they’re shutting down. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Either way, you end up in the same exhausting loop: one of you pursues, the other withdraws, and no one feels safe.This episode breaks down the pursue–withdraw cycle in a way that finally makes sense. We’ll look at what’s actually happening in your nervous system when things spiral, why neither of you is “the problem,” and how to name the pattern before it takes over. If you’ve ever felt like you’re either chasing your partner or hiding from them, this one’s for you.🧠 What We’ll Cover:Why protest behaviors (like texting again, pushing to talk) are actually cries for connectionHow nervous system survival responses fuel the entire cycle—on both sidesWhat your body thinks it’s protecting you from (and why that matters)A simple way to name the pattern and interrupt the spiral before it takes overWhy you're not too needy—or too distant—you’re just wired for protection✨ Key Insight:You're not overreacting—you’re protecting.So is your partner.But protection without awareness becomes disconnection.🛠 Practical Takeaway:Next time you feel the pattern kick in, try this:“I think we’re doing that thing again.”That one sentence can stop a 3-hour spiral before it starts.💬 Listener Reflection:What does your body do when closeness feels risky?Get curious about that moment—not to judge it, but to shift it.🔗 Related Links:💡 Read the blog version of this episode✉️ Join my Love & Life newsletter for weekly insights like this🧠 Ready to break your cycle? Check out Break the Cycle, a free 7 day email course. Available at www.drrachelorleck.com

You’ve done the work. You’ve read the books, been to therapy, and can name your patterns in your sleep. So why does it still feel like you lose yourself after every argument?This episode is for the high-achievers, the feelers, the overthinkers who walk away from conflict not just hurt—but ashamed. You knew better. So why did it still happen?In this episode of Coupled With..., Rachel pulls back the curtain on what really goes on after the fight—the internal shame spiral, the over-analysis, and the story that you’re the problem. Because what’s happening isn’t a failure of insight... it’s a nervous system that’s still on high alert.We’ll unpack:Why awareness doesn’t prevent a shutdown or freak-outHow your body continues the argument long after your partner walks awayThe difference between the shame spiral and the self-attunement loopA three-step practice to interrupt self-blame and restore connectionWhether you’re in a stable relationship but still struggle with your reactivity, or you’re exhausted from replaying the same pattern over and over again—this is your invitation to stop using self-awareness as a weapon and start learning what your body needs to feel safe enough to change.You're not failing the lesson. You're just meeting it in a different nervous system state.Break the Cycle 7 day free email course: drrachelorleck.com

Silence isn’t always golden—especially in relationships. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of the silent treatment, you know it doesn’t feel like space. It feels like rejection, punishment, or emotional exile. Even when it’s not meant to cause harm, the impact can be devastating.In this episode, we unpack the nervous system’s response to silence, why shutdowns are often misunderstood as maturity, and how couples can learn to take space without rupturing connection. Whether you're the one who goes quiet or the one who panics in the quiet, this conversation will help you feel seen—and give you language to do it differently.🔍 What We’ll Cover:Why silence often feels more painful than yellingHow your nervous system reacts to the absence of connectionThe difference between a regulated pause and a punishing shutdownWhat to say before you say nothing—one sentence that makes all the differenceHow to self-anchor when you’re on the receiving end of a silent spiral✨ Key Insight:Your nervous system doesn’t wait for clarification—it reacts to absence. And disconnection without consent doesn’t feel like maturity. It feels like abandonment.🛠 Tools + Takeaways:A simple sentence to turn a shutdown into a pauseA nervous system reframe for both sides of the silence dynamicHow to leave the light on—even when you need space🔁 Listener Reflection:If your go-to is silence, ask:Is this helping us—or just protecting me?And if you’re on the receiving end, try:This feels like disconnection, but I don’t have to fill in the blanks with shame.🔗 Related Links:💡 Read the blog version of this episode✉️ Join my weekly newsletter, Love & Life, for insights like this in your inboxConnect with me for more support: www.drrachelorleck.com

When your reaction feels too big for the moment—there’s probably a reason.In this episode, we’re zooming in on a relationship pattern that so many high-functioning, emotionally intelligent people get stuck in: reacting to your partner like they’re someone from your past. Even when you know they’re not your mom, your ex, or the parent who never saw you clearly… your body responds like they are.This isn’t just a mindset issue. It’s a nervous system loop.And until you name the original pattern, you’ll keep following it—even with someone who’s kind, safe, and emotionally available.In this episode, we’ll break down:Why your nervous system reacts to micro-triggers like abandonment, even when things seem fineHow attachment wounds get activated without words—and what that actually feels like in your bodyWhat it means when you keep replaying the same dynamic, even in a totally different relationshipThe moment of choice before reactivity—and the one question that can interrupt the spiralA practical tool (Pause → Track → Name) that helps you move from echo to agencyYou’re not too much. You’re responding exactly how your system was wired to protect you.And now? You get to build a new map.Ready to finally understand your patterns—and start rewiring them?Join my free 7-day email course:👉 https://www.drrachelorleck.com/break-the-cycleThis gentle, bite-sized series will help you start spotting the hidden dynamics that keep sabotaging connection—and show you what it actually means to heal from the inside out.

You’re not sleeping in separate bedrooms.You’re not in constant conflict.You still say “I love you.”So why do you feel lonelier with your partner than when you’re alone?This kind of disconnection doesn’t always come with drama.It comes with silence.With routine.With the slow drift into emotional invisibility.In this episode, we’re naming the ache that so many high-achieving, emotionally responsible people carry—but rarely talk about. You’ll learn:How “emotional coasting” takes over long-term partnershipsWhat your nervous system is trying to tell you when it feels empty but “fine”Why you armor up emotionally (and how it slowly makes you disappear)The difference between emotional roommates and conscious reconnectionA one-line check-in to interrupt the silence without over-functioningThis isn’t about being too sensitive.It’s about finally noticing the pain you’ve been adapting to for way too long.You’re not broken. You’re tracking something real.And the good news? Repair doesn’t start with fixing your partner.It starts with one small shift.💌 Want support putting this into practice?Grab my free 7-day email course: Break the Cycle — a short, empowering sequence of insights and nervous-system-safe tools to shift your part of the pattern.No guilt. No overwhelm. Just one doable step per day.👉 Sign up here: www.drrachelorleck.com

You’ve read the books. You know your attachment style. You understand your patterns.So why are you still having the same argument on repeat?In this episode of Coupled With…, we’re talking about the frustrating truth no one tells you:Insight isn’t integration.And without nervous system safety, even the most emotionally intelligent couples will fall into the same conflict loop—again and again.We’ll unpack why your brain can’t access your tools in the heat of the moment, what’s really happening in your body during conflict, and how to shift from reaction to repair—without needing to be perfect.If you’ve ever walked away from a breakthrough conversation only to end up in the same fight two days later… this one’s for you.🧠 In This Episode, You’ll Learn:Why “knowing better” doesn’t stop you from spiralingThe real reason your body hijacks you during argumentsThe difference between the Conflict Loop and the Connection LoopWhat it actually takes to break a reactive pattern (hint: it’s not another deep talk)How to use Pattern Interrupts, Nervous System Awareness, and Emotional Ownership in the moment🛠️ Resources & Links:Free Guide resources: www.drrachelorleck.comWant deeper support? Learn about the membership: Coming Soon!🔁 Loved this episode?Follow the show so you never miss a new dropShare it with your partner or a friend who’s doing the workLeave a quick rating or review to help other couples find us

In this powerful episode, I’m joined by therapist Edan Zebooloon, LMHC, for an honest, eye-opening conversation about male vulnerability—why it’s so hard, why it matters, and what often gets in the way.We explore the emotional bind many men live in: wanting to connect but feeling trapped by a culture that equates emotional expression with weakness. Edan shares his personal journey of surrendering the idea of being a "real man"—and how that act of letting go became the gateway to true connection, both with himself and with other men.We also dig into what happens in relationships when men do finally open up—why it can feel destabilizing for their partners, how couples can unintentionally get stuck in a cycle of shutdown and pursuit, and what it really takes to create safety for emotional intimacy on both sides.Whether you're a man trying to access your own emotions, a partner longing for deeper connection, or a therapist supporting couples through these stuck points, this episode will leave you with clarity, compassion, and a few practical tools you can use right away.💬 We talk about:Why vulnerability isn’t even on the radar for many men—and what shuts it downThe emotional cost of performing masculinity and the relief of letting it goWhy some partners unconsciously reject the very vulnerability they ask forThe danger of turning couples therapy into a parent–child dynamicThe power of men’s groups and peer modeling for emotional expressionA simple but powerful tool to reconnect with your partner’s (and your own) inner child👤 About Today’s Guest:Edan Zebooloon is a certified Emotionally Focused Therapist in practice for over fifteen years, bringing his unique vulnerable authenticity and array of emotional expressiveness in service to his clients—cutting to their own core truth.He has a passion for all of us to be seen, to receive the validation and empathy we deserve, and to be more deeply connected to ourselves and one another. His work includes a strong focus on Gender Equity and Reconciliation, helping women and men both understand and appreciate one another’s emotional experience.To connect with Edan for therapy, gender groups, or referrals to other practitioners he personally endorses, visit:👉 www.greaterseattlecounseling.com💌 Free Resource for Couples:Want help breaking out of reactive cycles and starting more honest conversations with your partner?Grab my free 7-day email course, “Break the Cycle: 7 Days to Stop the Same Fight and Rebuild Connection.”Sign up here: 👉 www.drrachelorleck.com