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When They Say Sorry, But Nothing Changes

When They Say Sorry, But Nothing Changes

Update: 2025-11-10
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Description

If a quick “I’m sorry” could fix everything, relationships would be easy. But when the same rupture happens again—and again—the words start to lose their weight. In this episode, Dr. Rachel Orleck unpacks why repeated apologies without consistent change create nervous system burnout, how this cycle erodes trust, and what your body actually needs before it can believe safety is real again.

You’ll learn why good intentions and genuine remorse aren’t enough to rebuild security, how stress pulls us back toward old patterns, and what real repair sounds and feels like when it finally starts to land. Rachel also shares her three R’s of real repairRecognize, Reflect, and Repeat Differently—a simple framework for interrupting empty apologies and rebuilding connection through action instead of promises.

If you’ve ever thought, “They mean it, but nothing changes,” this episode will help you understand why—and what true repair looks like in practice.

Key Topics Covered

  • Why “I’m sorry” starts to feel hollow over time
  • How repeated apologies create nervous system fatigue
  • The difference between good intentions and embodied change
  • Why your body stops believing promises without consistency
  • How to rebuild safety through small, repeatable actions
  • The 3 R’s of real repair: Recognize, Reflect, Repeat Differently

Resources:

If you're in WA state and want to connect with Dr. Rachel in her therapy practice: www.northseattlecouplescounseling.com

Free 7 Day Email Course: Break the Cycle of Conflict: www.drrachelorleck.com

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When They Say Sorry, But Nothing Changes

When They Say Sorry, But Nothing Changes