In this podcast episode, Betsy Pake gets real about how our childhood experiences can seriously shape our adult lives. She opens up about her own story and shares how the patterns and expectations from her younger years influenced her behavior and emotional regulation way into adulthood. Betsy dives deep into the major role our nervous system plays in setting our comfort zones and how we react to life’s curveballs. She dishes out a game-changing roadmap for busting through limiting beliefs and rewiring our nervous system to match what we truly want. By the end, you’ll feel empowered to break free from those sneaky subconscious patterns and live a life that’s more authentic and fulfilling

Transcript:

Betsy [00:00:05 ]:
Welcome to the art of Living big podcast. My name’s Betsy Paik. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Welcome to the art of Living big to this week’s episode. So, what are we going to talk about today? What are we going to talk about today? I don’t know, but it’s going to come to me, and it will be perfection when it does.

Betsy [00:00:45 ]:
So I’ve got a couple things. I’m just going to start sharing a few things, and we’ll kind of see where it leads. The beautiful thing is, I can just erase it if it’s not what I want. So here we are. I’m still suffering from my birds, so if you’ve been here for a little while, I had these birds nest on my porch, which I thought was going to be so great. And the birds finally flew away. The babies have gone and are living their best life, but they left behind bugs. They left behind bugs.

Betsy [00:01:20 ]:
And I honestly haven’t even been able to go out on my porch in a week. I’m so next year, when the birds come, I’m gonna be so mean. I’m gonna. I’m gonna put some birdhouses out so they have another place to go. But I’m gonna be aggressive in protecting my space because it. We got mites. Bird mites. I’m gonna completely gross you out.

Betsy [00:01:44 ]:
But we got these mites, and they’re microscopic. I’m gonna tell you some facts about mites, because I have researched. But bird mites, like, the kind of mites that are in bird nests and all of that, they’re so tiny, I can’t even begin to tell you how tiny. You can feel them on your hand, but you can’t see them. You have to, like, look so close. And they have legs that really. Only they’re really geared towards grabbing onto feathers and not skin. Even saying the word skin grossed me out, and they need bird blood, so they’re like vampires, only for birds, so they won’t live, but they’ll get on you and they’ll bite you.

Betsy [00:02:32 ]:
I can’t even tell you how disgusting. I would feel them. I’d feel them and I would be like, once I saw them and I knew they were there, then when I would go out, I sprayed everything. I mean, I’m talking. I just want you to know, as you’re thinking, like, why didn’t you clean it? I’m telling you, I have cleaned, I have sprayed, I have done dish soap. I have, like, all the things, okay? All the things. I’m itching just telling you about this, so. But I would.

Betsy [00:03:00 ]:
I would do all these things, and then a couple days would go by, and I would sit out there, and then I would be like, oh, my God. I can feel them. Like, I can feel them, like, all over my body. And I’d have to go take a shower, and then I’d be like, I must have got them off me. And then, like, hours later, I would get all these red marks on me. So, like, they were biting me. I. Oh, my God.

Betsy [00:03:22 ]:
I mean, are you still listening? Because you’re probably like, what the hell is she telling us this for? I. It has just been. This has been the thing that has, like, sucked up my life over the past two weeks. So I’m really hopeful that the mites have now dispersed. I think they’re probably dead. I went out two days ago and looked, and I think I got, like, one little one on my hand, but it not. Like it was. So I was like, I think they’re dying off.

Betsy [00:03:49 ]:
I have exterminated myself, slathered myself in all kinds of repellents of every kind. Anyway, if. If you live someplace where you’re like, oh, I’m excited. We’re getting birds nest. Just heed this warning. Let this stay in your brain for years to come if you see a bird’s nest being built, just. I’m not saying, like, I don’t want to be mean to the birds. Right? I mean, I was excited about it, right? But I will get birdhouses.

Betsy [00:04:18 ]:
That’s what I’m gonna do, is I’m gonna have a whole village of birdhouses available for them in my yard. So that’s. That’s the update on the birds. If you’ve been here for a little while or you followed along on my instagram, one of the things I’ve been really working on in this summer, one of my focuses. I’m not going to say a goal, because a goal sounds so, like, specific, but one of my focuses is to make some friends real life. So I have had a lot of friends in my life. I have friends from high school that I still see and keep in touch with. I mean, when I make a friend, I keep a friend.

Betsy [00:05:03 ]:
But, you know, we moved during COVID I moved into the city in Atlanta during COVID and I haven’t really found my people around here. I have a couple friends that live nearby me, but not close enough friends to really do stuff. And I feel like I’ve asked, like, do you want to do something? And they’ll say, oh, I would, but I can’t. And so you only ask a few times, right? And then you’re like, I’m not going to ask anymore, but I’ve got to make new friends. So this summer, one of my focuses is on making new friends. So one of the things that I did was our community has a Facebook group, and I joined the Facebook group, and I started, like, scanning for things that I could do with people. So one of the things was there was, like, a community cleanup in the cemetery. Okay? So we have, like, an old historic cemetery near us.

Betsy [00:05:58 ]:
And, you know, if you’ve been here before, you’ve heard me talk about how I live in Atlanta, in east Atlanta in, like, an old neighborhood, and there’s this historic cemetery. And so I got, like, where I saw this. It’s gonna be this cleanup. I mean, it’s. It said on the sign. Also, they had a sign on the cemetery because I drove by to see the sign. It said, we’ll have snacks. So I was like, this is absolutely the event for me.

Betsy [00:06:25 ]:
I show up on Saturday, and there’s, like, nobody there. There’s, like, one older man, which I’m not opposed to having a friend that’s an older man. But it wasn’t really what I was looking for. And he was weed whacking, and that was it. There was nobody there, not even the snack person. So I kind of abandoned that mission, and then I was like, well, there’s got to be a better way, a different way for me. And so I have joined this app that connects you for dinner. So basically it puts you with five other friends.

Betsy [00:07:02 ]:
I’m using air quotes because they’re not your friends yet, but they will be supposedly after you have dinner. So there’s six of you total. And the app, like, it’s a paid app, but they ask you all these questions, right? So, like, about what kind of food you like and how much money you’d want to spend. And do you like talking about politics or not? Do you like this or not this? Do you want this or this? And it just kind of narrows down to give you people. Okay, so I did it. I paid my $26 for the month to see what I thought. And I’m going to dinner tomorrow night. So Wednesday night.

Betsy [00:07:41 ]:
So if you are listening to this on Wednesday. Check my stories because I’ll be posting on Instagram. But I’ve got paired. I will find out tonight. So the app, like, unveils who else is going to be there 24 hours before, and then the restaurant is. They let you know the restaurant the day before, like, the morning before. And so I’ll know the restaurant tomorrow. And then you meet up, and they give you, like, a game.

Betsy [00:08:08 ]:
Like, probably an icebreaker, right? You know, I am going. So I. So I’m taking. I’m taking action, bold action, stepping forward, doing the thing that I would need to do to be able to find the people. I’m in my fifties, right? But I don’t feel like my energy is in my fifties. And so I want to find other people who are like me that their energy isn’t necessarily in their fifties, but they are. Right. Like, their kids are grown and moved out or whatever that looks like.

Betsy [00:08:39 ]:
So I am going tomorrow, and I feel like. Yeah, I feel really good about it. I’m excited. There’s a part of me that’s a little apprehensive. Like, I don’t know. You know, I’m not necessarily. I wouldn’t think of myself necessarily as an extrovert, historically. Although when I look back when I was a kid, I think I was really extroverted.

Betsy [00:09:03 ]:
So part of me feels like over the years, I’ve just kind of closed off, and maybe that impacted my ability to find the right people that were my people. So I’m noticing now where I’m closing up, and I’m noticing where I’m not expanding into who I really am. Okay, so now this is what we’re going to talk about today. So maybe that’s, like, you. Maybe you’re like, when I was younger, I feel like I was pretty extroverted. And maybe you feel extroverted around certain people. Right. I have thought, you know, it’s when we’re in a safe place or in an environment where we feel comfortable, where we are more of ourselves.

Betsy [00:09:49 ]:
And I think as we’re more of ourselves, we probably open up more and share more. One of the things, and this is what I want to talk about,