Podcast #662

SANDPAPER PEOPLE: HOW TO GROW FROM PEOPLE WHO RUB YOU THE WRONG WAY











We all have them—those people who just rub us the wrong way. The ones who challenge your patience, poke at your insecurities, or seem to test your emotional limits. In today’s episode, we’re talking about “sandpaper people”—the difficult relationships that actually refine us if we let them. You’ll learn how to shift your mindset, stay in your confidence, and use these interactions as unexpected opportunities for growth. If someone’s been getting under your skin lately, this episode is exactly what your heart needs.



Have you ever met someone who just… grates on you? Not because they’ve done something awful—just their presence, their energy, or maybe the way they talk or act—it just rubs you the wrong way.

I call them sandpaper people. And while they might drive you crazy, they also might be one of the greatest gifts for your personal growth—if you let them.

Today we’re diving into how these frustrating people can actually shape your confidence, sharpen your self-awareness, and soften your heart… without letting them walk all over you.

So if you've been feeling irritated, misunderstood, or just plain annoyed by someone lately, you're not alone—and you're in the right place. Let’s talk about how to handle those relationships with grace, boundaries, and the kind of confidence that turns friction into refinement.



How to stop taking difficult people personally and instead use them as unexpected tools for personal growth and confidence.

“My client said, ‘I wish this person would just disappear from my life — they ruin my whole day just by showing up.’

And I almost cried… because I knew exactly how she felt. But I also knew this was a moment of growth in disguise.”



What Are ‘Sandpaper People’?





Definition:“They rub you the wrong way… but over time, they smooth your rough edges.”







They trigger, frustrate, irritate, exhaust — and yet… they refine you.







They often aren’t doing anything “wrong” — but your reaction is loud.







Sandpaper people are those individuals who consistently irritate, challenge, or frustrate us—not because they’re toxic, but because their personality, behavior, or energy rubs against ours in a way that creates emotional friction. Like sandpaper, they can wear us down… or, if we allow it, they can smooth out our rough edges and help shape us into more patient, grounded, and resilient versions of ourselves.







Examples:









* The overly confident coworker who makes you feel insecure.







* The mom friend who always has a humblebrag.







* The person who reminds you of someone from your past.







Why Naming It Helps





Naming someone as a "sandpaper person" helps create emotional distance and perspective. It turns frustration into observation. Instead of internalizing their behavior or reacting defensively, labeling them this way allows you to recognize that their role in your life might be to help refine you—not to ruin your day. It gives language to the experience, which empowers you to respond with intention instead of irritation. Simply naming it takes the sting out and gives you a tool for emotional growth.







Naming them “Sandpaper People” makes it less personal, more observational.You can reclaim your power instead of spiraling in reactive energy.It shifts the dynamic: from “they’re against me” → to “this is revealing something in me.”







Coaching Prompt:







“Where do I feel reactive? What insecurity is being poked?”





What They Teach You (Without Meaning To)