The Sixth Tuesday

第六个星期二

We Talk About Emotions

我们聊了聊情绪

"Ah. You're thinking, Mitch. But detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully. That's how you are able to leave it."

“啊，米契，你在思考了。不过超脱并不意味着你不去充分体验自己的经历。而是相反，你要更充分地去体验。这样才足以让你最终能够离开情绪。”

I'm lost.

我不明白。

"Take any emotion - love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions - if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them - you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.

“就拿任何情绪来说——对一个女人的爱，或者对旧爱的缅怀，亦或我现在正在经历的，对来自致命疾病的恐惧和痛苦。如果你隐瞒自己的情绪，如果你不允许自己完全充分的去经历情绪，那你其实永远也不能真正做到超脱，你只顾着畏惧了，你畏惧受伤，你畏惧哀痛，你畏惧真爱所必然包含的脆弱。”

"But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, 'All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.'"

“但是通过让自己完全沉浸在这些情绪中，通过允许你自己去深入情绪，完完全全的沉浸其中，甚至沉溺到无法自拔，来让你完全充分的体验情绪。由此你才能知道痛苦是什么样的。你才能知道爱是什么样的。你才能知道哀伤是什么样的。到那时你才能说，‘好了，我已经充分体验过情绪了。我能够识别出这些情绪。但是现在我得要从这些情绪里面抽离出来一会儿了。’”

Morrie stopped and looked me over, perhaps to make sure I was getting this right.

莫瑞停下来看着我，可能是想确信我理解了他说的这段话。

"I know you think this is just about dying," he said, "but it's like I keep telling you. When you learn how to die, you learn how to live."

“我知道你会觉得我说的这些仅仅是指牵涉生死的那些情绪，”他继续说道，“但就像我一直告诉你的。当你学会了如何死亡，也就学会了如何活着。”

Morrie talked about his most fearful moments, when he felt his chest locked in heaving surges or when he wasn't sure where his next breath would come from. These were horrifying times, he said, and his first emotions were horror, fear, anxiety. But once he recognized the feel of those emotions, their texture, their moisture, the shiver down the back, the quick flash of heat that crosses your brain - then he was able to say, "Okay. This is fear. Step away from it. Step away."

莫瑞聊起了他最恐惧的时刻，当他感到胸腔剧烈起伏无法平复的时候，或者当他不确定下一口气还喘不喘的上来的时候。‘那真是令人极其恐惧的时刻’，莫瑞说道，而且那时他的第一感受就是惊恐，害怕，紧张。可是一旦他认识到了这些情绪带来的感觉，这些情绪的“质感”，他们的气息，后背脊梁骨上的那股战栗，脑中快速闪过的灼热——然后他终于能够说“好吧，这就是恐惧，现在从这种感觉中离开，离开这种情绪。”

I thought about how often this was needed in everyday life.

我想着我们的日常生活是多么的需要这样啊。

How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don't let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry.

我们是多么的感到孤独以至于到暗自流泪的程度，但是我们却并不哭出来因为我们不被允许哭泣。

Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don't say anything because we're frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship.

又或者在某个瞬间我们对伴侣是多么的感到一阵突如其来的深爱但是我们却什么也不说因为我们被担心一但说了什么话就会对关系产生影响的恐惧感吓住了。

Morrie's approach was exactly the opposite.

而莫瑞的方法却截然相反。

Turn on the faucet.

打开水龙头。

Wash yourself with the emotion.</span