The Tenth Tuesday

第十个星期二

We Talk About Marriage

我们聊了聊婚姻

Marriage.

婚姻。

Almost everyone I knew had a problem with it.

几乎我所认识的每个人都在这件事上有麻烦。

Some had problems getting into it, some had problems getting out.

有些人对于进入婚姻有麻烦，而有些人则是走出婚姻有麻烦。

My generation seemed to struggle with the commitment, as if it were an alligator from some murky swamp.

我们这一代人似乎对许下承诺感到非常吃力，好像承诺是个来自什么昏暗沼泽的鳄鱼似的。

I had gotten used to attending weddings, congratulating the couple, and feeling only mild surprise when I saw the groom a few years later sitting in a

restaurant with a younger woman whom he introduced as a friend.

我已经习惯了先是参加婚礼并祝福情侣，并在几年以后仅仅只是感到些许意外当在餐厅里看到当年的新郎和一位更年轻的女郎坐在一起并将其介绍为他的朋友。

"You know, I'm separated from so-and-so ..." he would say.

“你懂的，我和那谁谁谁分开了…” 新郎通常都会这么说。

Why do we have such problems?

为什么我们会有这些问题？

I asked Morrie about this.

我问莫瑞。

Having waited seven years before I proposed to Janine, I wondered if people my age were being more careful than those who came before us, or simply more selfish?

我在向珍妮求婚之前足足等了七年之久，我想知道是不是像我这个年代的人只是比前几代人更加谨慎，还是说我们仅仅就是更自私？

"Well, I feel sorry for your generation," Morrie said.

“好吧，对你们这代人我深感遗憾，”莫瑞说。

"In this culture, it's so important to find a loving relationship with someone because so much of the culture does not give you that.

“在当前的文化中，寻找并和某个人建立起一段忠诚有爱的关系是如此重要，因为社会文化当中的太多部分并不能给予你这些东西。”

But the poor kids today, either they're too selfish to take part in a real loving relationship, or they rush into marriage and then six months later, they get divorced.

但当今的可怜孩子们，要么是太过自私以致于无法参与进一段真正充满爱的关系，要么是着急着一头冲进婚姻然后过了6个月以后，他们就离婚了。

They don't know what they want in a partner.

他们并不清楚他们想从伴侣身上获得什么。

They don't know who they are themselves——so how can they know who they're marrying?"

他们也不了解他们自己——所以他们又怎么可能真的认识那个和他们结婚的人？

He sighed.

他叹了口气。

Morrie had counseled so many unhappy lovers in his years as a professor.

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