Mothers of teenagers in the BTR.ORG community frequently ask, "How can I help my teen avoid abusive relationships?"



Lucy is on the BTR.ORG podcast, sharing her insights as a 19-year-old, new in the dating world, with a fresh perspective and helpful insights for mothers.



Tune in and read the full transcript below for more.

Help Teens Avoid Abuse by Identifying Red Flags

In this interview, Lucy shares her list of "red flags" that she made with the help of her mother.



You can help your teen avoid abusive relationships by having regular discussions about what red flags they can look out for in potential dating partners, and even taking it a step further by making a physical list that your teen can have in a journal or diary.



Some "Red Flags" you may want to discuss with your teen include:



* Coercion, including sexual coercion, that can include guilting, sulking, shaming, and subtly conditioning victims to participate in sexual activities.

* Manipulation, lying, and gaslighting.

* A preoccupation with their phone.

* Any degree of violence, including harming objects or animals.



Encourage Teens to Focus on Their Own Goals

Teens may find it easier to engage in healthy relationships when adults encourage them to focus on their own goals. Rather than spending time and energy seeking out dating opportunities, teens can use that time and energy to learn healthy habits and behaviors and develop a strong sense of self.

"I think it's much safer to just live your own life. I wanna say keep your head down and focused on your own goals, but hold your head up. Focus on your own goals."



- Anne Blythe, Founder of BTR.ORG

How to Help Abused Teens

If your teenager has experienced psychological and emotional abuse and sexual coercion, then it's time to step in and help them escape.



Where a crime has been committed, consider reporting to authorities.



Teens, like all victims of covert abuse and betrayal trauma, deserve to be validated, not blamed. Abuse is never the fault of the victim. Parents can help teen victims by:



* Helping them report crime.

* Developing a safety plan to make sure that the abuser no longer has access to them.

* Seeking professional help for the victim.

* Validating the victim's experience.

* Reassuring the victim that they are not at fault.

* Allowing the victim to talk openly about their experience, without judgement or blame.



BTR.ORG Is Here For You

At BTR.ORG, we know how difficult it can be to show up emotionally for your abused teen while also processing your own betrayal trauma. Our BTR.ORG Group Sessions are available to you. Please attend a session today.









Full Transcript:

Anne (00:00 ):

Welcome to BTR.ORG. This is Anne. I have Lucy on today's episode. She is a TikTok-er. You can find Lucy at Guru Lulu on TikTok. She is 19 years old. So Lucy's mom is really interested in betrayal trauma stuff and has been talking to her about this. And because Lucy is 19 and dating, she's been thinking about this in relation to her mother, and so I thought it might be fun to have a fellow TikTok-er on.



(03:26 ):

Again, she's at Guru Lulu and we are on TikTok as well. We don't often have 19 year old women on the podcast, so I'm happy to have her here. But we do have a lot of women who are in relationships that are emotionally and psychologically abusive and they are concerne...