Making the decision to learn about abuse is a big leap for many women. The ramifications feel overwhelming: by doing so, they may confirm their partner is abusive.

Need support? Learn about Betrayal Trauma Recovery Support Group.

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3 Reasons To Learn About Hidden Abuse:

1. Learn about abuse so that safety is the top priority.


2. An emotional abuser will you forgiveness as a weapon.


3. Learning about emotional and psychological abuse does not create abuse.

Anne and Coach Christina discuss the fact that society discourages women from learning about abuse, pushing the belief that if women learn about abuse, they’ll start making “mountains out of molehills” or imaging abuse where it isn’t present. But as Anne points out, abuse doesn’t appear out of thin air. And choosing to educate yourself about it can be life-saving for you or someone you love.

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Transcript: 3 Compelling Reasons To Learn About Abuse

Anne: I have one of our Betrayal Trauma Recovery Coaches on today’s episode, Coach Christina. She’s a betrayal trauma coach with over 15 years experience. Here at BTR, she validates women’s experiences while helping them use the Living Free Workshop strategies to make their way to emotional, psychological, spiritual, and physical safety. Christina believes every woman can use these effective strategies to recover and heal from trauma.

Coach Christina and I will cover three compelling reasons to learn about hidden abuse today. I’m going to lay them out for you right now really quick. Number one, learn about emotional and psychological abuse, so that your emotional safety is the top priority. Number two, an emotional and psychological abuser will use forgiveness as a weapon. And number three, learning about emotional and psychological abuse doesn’t create emotional and psychological abuse.

And we’ll go into detail about why those things are important throughout this conversation. I am so grateful that Christina is on our coaching team. She is incredible.

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Anne: Let’s start with how you found Betrayal Trauma Recovery.

Christina: Hi Anne, I love being part of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery coaching team. It’s incredible to work alongside you and our amazing coaches here.

Terrified About & Finding That Betrayal Trauma Recovery Is Safe

Christina: I found Betrayal Trauma Recovery as a woman who had just experienced my own betrayal, but then I was nervous. As I hear many of our clients say, I was nervous. I did not know. I said, is this place real? Is it safe? I had no clue. I was terrified of contacting a group of people I did not know, especially when there are so many groups out there.

And so I put it off. One therapist said it was the marriage’s fault. What was my husband missing from the marriage? Delve into him. Why did he have an affair?

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And I fought that with tooth and nail. I never surrendered to that idea one time. And so I didn’t realize that as I was fighting through those codependent ideas. He could just simply blame the marriage, which meant he was blaming me. Which had him not taking full responsibility.

I never surrendered to that idea and am so grateful. So I would fight it, fight it, fight it. I just wanted to heal and even understand what happened. After going through a codependent model through therapy, I knew that wasn’t it. I found Betrayal Trauma Recovery again.

I said, well, you know what? What do I have to lose? I will try it out. And I’m going to get on this session right away. Best decision I made. I learned I needed to be in safety at Betrayal Trauma Recovery. And that’s what the codependent model did not teach me. I learned that in the codependent model, you communicate that boundary. And then he’s just gonna magically do what you say. Because clearly he’s gonna do it now that he’s betrayed the relationship.

1. Learn About Abuse So That Emotional Safety Is The Top Priority

Christina: Actually, it’s the opposite. He betrayed the relationship because of his character. He is boundless, so he’s not gonna respect the boundaries. Like many of our clients, when they come and they’re new, my first session, I didn’t say anything. So I was just listening and seeing if these women are safe.

That was my biggest thing. Are these women safe? Am I in the right group? I found that was the first thing. I found the rules of the group were for our safety. The coach, I mean, she was just full of education and yet she didn’t tell us what to do. She just simply asked us questions.

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She asked the other ladies questions, and the ladies were safe to cry. They were safe to talk about vulnerable topics, and they were safe to wade through the questions. They learn about abuse and get to a place where they are enlightened. I saw women at different stages of their recovery. I saw where I was and where I wanted to be. And I thought that that was so powerful for my first session. And so I learned that it’s my job to keep myself safe, and that’s exactly what I did after that.

Anne: Well, I’m grateful that you found us. I’m grateful when any woman finds us, because the first reason to learn about emotional and psychological abuse is that your safety needs to be the top priority. Your emotional safety, your psychological safety. Many people think when I say safety, I mean, like pack up your bags and leave the house. And that’s actually not what I’m talking about.

Learn About Abuse To Find Strategies To Deal With It

Anne: There are ways to be emotionally safe remaining in the same home, if that’s what you so choose. There are so many amazing strategies, and I teach them in the <a href="https://client.btr.