Is therapy causing you to feel worse? Do you keep going, thinking maybe the next session will be the breakthrough? Here are the warning signs of an abusive therapist every woman needs to be aware of.

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Amy Nordhues, a victim of an abusive therapist, and author of Prayed Upon, joined Anne Blythe, M.Ed. on The FREE Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast to talk about the warning signs of an abusive therapist.

If you relate and need support, attend a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session TODAY.

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Transcript: Warning Signs Of An Abusive Therapist: What To Look For

Anne: Amy Nordhues is on the podcast today. She’s a survivor of both childhood sex abuse and sex abuse as an adult at the hands of a mental health professional. She is a passionate follower of Christ and expert on the healing God provides. She has a B.A. in psychology and minors in sociology and criminology.

Her devotions are in the Secret Place devotional series. Her memoir, Prayed Upon, won the Inspire Christian Writers Great Openings Contest for nonfiction and the Next Generation Indie Award for inspirational nonfiction. As a married mother of three, she enjoys spending time with family, writing, reading, photography, and all things comedy.

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We will talk about warning signs of an abusive therapist today. Welcome, Amy.

Amy: Hi, it’s so good to be here.

Anne: We have comedy in common.

When I first learned about my husband’s lying and deceit. I actually started writing comedy to deal with it, like to process it. So I wrote a comedy blog for a few years that wasn’t showing what was actually happening. When my book comes out, I will actually publish that comedy blog in book form simultaneously. So that you can see what was happening.

Amy: Oh, interesting.

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Anne: I think a lot of comedians use jokes to deal with their trauma.

Amy: Yes.

Anne: So maybe we’ll make a few abuse jokes today.

Amy: Yeah.

Anne: Oh, wow, don’t worry. My audience, my audience gets it because they’re all abuse victims.

The Pastor’s Wife’s Suggested This Therapist

Anne: So let’s start with your story.

Amy: Yeah, I started attending Celebrate Recovery. I wanted to work on issues from past abuse and a disconnected marriage. I had depression and anxiety. And when I was in that program, the pastor’s wife became my mentor, and at some point she recommended I see this therapist.

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He was also a psychiatrist, which was good because he can manage my medications. He was an elder at the church where the Celebrate Recovery was hosted. I had just started attending there. So it seemed to line up perfectly. So I started to see him, and he was an odd character, more like a bumbling grandpa.

Very Christian, wore a cross necklace, sweet, kind of goofy, and right away he played a father figure role. He learned that was something I didn’t have. So he played into that, and at first it seemed like an answer to prayer. It seemed like my depression was lifting. I started to see I guess you could say red flags.

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Anne: At the time, what was your thought process? Did you know they were red flags? Would you define them that way? Can you talk about your thought process?

Amy: In retrospect, I realized the red flags started from day one, and those things I didn’t see as red flags. I just thought they were quirky, silly, like he would get an afghan out of his cupboard. And like kind of match it to what clothing I was wearing. And then playfully cover me with it. Well, my alarm bells went off. But I certainly didn’t think this is a predator trying to weasel his way into my personal space or see them as warning signs of an abusive therapist.

The First Red Flags: Coerced Shoulder & Foot Rubs

Amy: I thought, this is just a silly, older gentleman therapist trying to put me at ease in an awkward therapy situation. He would bring me tea, and I didn’t see any harm in that. We both would drink tea during the sessions. So they were little things like that. And I brushed them off.

But when he offered to rub my feet or shoulders for a Christmas present, I panicked, he’d never touched me in a session. He sat across from me in his chair, and the sad reality is that I didn’t think I could say no. I had voices screaming in my head, like, pick one, pick one, this is awkward, this is brutally awkward.

So I said, shoulders. He came over and sat next to me in the chair and started to rub my shoulders. And I panicked and said, “feet, feet,” just to get him away. And the touch felt creepy. Sadly, I say sadly, because now I wish I could have just stood up and left. But I kind of slumped down in my chair and put my feet on the ottoman, and allowed him to rub my feet.

Anne: Because we reject victim blaming here at BTR.ORG, would you feel comfortable saying coerced rather than allowed?

Amy: Yeah, I didn’t think no was a choice.

Anne: Right, so that’s coercion, right?

Amy: Do it quickly, and get it over with, or put it off. And then still do it.

Anne: Right, and it’s coercion.

Amy: It is coercion.

Anne: This isn’t you allowing him to do this. This is you are coerced to do this because you feel like you have no other option. These were definitely warning signs of an abusive therapist.

The Pastor’s Wife Didn’t See The Warning Signs Of An Abusive Therapist

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