Sharing Common Interests as Newlyweds

[Show Opens]

Myrtle Alegado: So you just got married and you’re basking in the giddiness of newlywed bliss. But have you thought about how to build that connection even more with your spouse?

In our last episode, we talked to a couple from Vista. Now let’s travel a few hours north on the I-5 and meet another California couple to discuss the importance of sharing common interests as newlyweds.

Welcome to Happy Life, a podcast brought to you by INC Media Audio that aims to help newlyweds navigate through the first years of marriage. I’m your host, Myrtle Alegado, and I’ve been married to my husband, Paul, since 1999. Later, we’ll hear some Bible-based advice through Brother Felmar Serreno, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ.

[Show catchphrase]

Inspiration to make your marriage thrive, you’re listening to Happy Life.

Myrtle: On Happy Life today, I’d like to welcome Jasmine and Darryl and they’re from Oakland, California. They’ve been married since April of 2019.

Hey there, Darryl and Jasmine! We’re so glad you were able to join us today.

Jasmine San Pedro: Hi, thank you so much for having us.

Darryl San Pedro: Thanks for having us today.

Myrtle: So, you know, tell us a little bit about what life is like right now in the Bay Area.

Darryl: Gas prices are kind of crazy, but the weather’s fine.

Myrtle: Well, send some of that warmth up here to Vancouver please. [laughs]

So you know, if you can, tell us a little bit about yourselves and how you two met and then became husband and wife.

Darryl: Yeah, so we met in college. We went to UC (University of California) Berkeley together and we met there at a theater production.

Myrtle: So how many years were you just friends?

Jasmine: Um, since 2012.

Darryl: Yeah, I want to say 2012.

Jasmine: 2012, yeah.

Myrtle: Oh okay, so that was a pretty good, you know, three years of building that friendship before it became something more.

So Darryl, you mentioned you were both in theater production. Was that the common interest that brought you together?

Darryl: Yeah, we shared a passion for performing and that was actually what formed the basis of our initial friendship.

Jasmine: Yeah, it was really easy to talk to each other because we liked a lot of the same things and, you know, just have a love for music and theater.

Myrtle: And, you know, as someone who can’t act or sing, I find it so amazing that you’re both talented in those areas, so. You know, what do you love about having this common love for the arts?

Jasmine: Yeah, I mean, in a sense, we kind of speak the same language. Much of our life is shared, so we’ve really become in tune, pun intended, with each other.

There’s really a lot of work that is needed to be done with, like, your bandmates, or your castmates, when you’re in the creative space. So for me and Darryl, a lot of the time, we don’t even need to say a word to each other, and we learned to communicate with each other in that way, which is pretty cool. And I really just love the amount of time we get to spend with each other when we’re doing these types of projects.

Myrtle: Yeah, it’s funny when you hear couples say, he can understand me with just a look. I guess, you know, that’s pretty true for the two of you. What are, you know, some of the favorite things that you’ve worked on together?

Darryl: I would say our very first performance together will always hold a special place in my heart. I mean, essentially, that was when we met.

And I do enjoy reminiscing and laughing about some of our earlier shows and gigs in college. I can still vividly remember how, you know, we weren’t very polished and not always in sync back then. We’re still not very polished but, you know, at least we’re not polished together now in a sense. [laughs]

If I were to pick a favorite performance, it would also be the celebration of the Church Of Christ’s 50th anniversary in the West. We had just gotten engaged and I feel like performing in that event, and just being surrounded by so many people with really high levels of faith, helped us to grow in our faith individually. And you know, what we learned in that production really strengthened our foundation for our marriage.

Myrtle: You mentioned that what you learned in the production strengthened the foundation of your marriage. So what did you learn exactly during the production?

Darryl: Yeah, I mean, we definitely learned how to really trust in God when it comes to the process, you know. And we also kind of learned how to support each other especially, you know, in stressful times, yeah.

Jasmine: We also learned to be very patient. We had a lot of long nights and late nights preparing for that event. So that was, learning patience was definitely good for our marriage.

Myrtle: Oh yeah, those are great qualities to learn early on in your relationship.

Darryl, you mentioned that you had just gotten engaged. Do you mind sharing a little bit about your proposal?

Darryl: Yeah. Actually, the theater where we did our first production together, I was able to propose on that very stage. So, I was trying to think of what would be the perfect place for us to do that, and I was able to, you know, pull some strings with some friend who worked at that theater and decorated it with some of our memories and proposed on that stage.

Myrtle: Oh, wow.

Jasmine: Yeah, it felt like it went full circle.

Myrtle: That would definitely be a memorable place for your engagement to happen. Let’s go back to you, Jasmine, your favorite performance that you’ve done together.

Jasmine: Yeah, I would say my favorite performance we’ve ever had the privilege to be a part of was the play called ‘Steadfast’ and it was for the INCenterstage (the stage production platform in the Church Of Christ) in the District of Northwest California. The auditions were actually on the day of our wedding. So, we recorded our virtual auditions the day before in the hotel where we were, like, prepping, and we sent the videos in on the day of our wedding. And we were blessed to be casted in roles of husband and wife in the play.

And in the play, our characters went through like these different life challenges alongside their son, and they got through it as a family by prayer and with God’s guidance. And our entire first month of marriage was pretty much spent on that production, and I felt like we were acting out what the rest of our lives would essentially be like.

Myrtle: Oh, wow. And I have to say, the fact that you auditioned the day before your wedding and sent in the video auditions just shows how much, you know, the love of performing means to you both. Those two occasions must have been incredible and I was actually at INC50West in Sacramento. And I applaud all the performers on that day because it was absolutely amazing and incredible.

I’d just like to share something I read on www.psychologytoday.com from Dr. Stephen Betchan. He said that it’s not just hobbies that should be considered as interests. A Pew Research in 2016 found that: “44% of adults surveyed said that shared religious beliefs are important for a successful marriage.”

Now going back to your shared passion, what do you find attractive about your spouse when they’re in their “creative zone?”

Darryl: Jasmine can get pretty scary and intense when she’s in her zone. Like when she’s songwriting, I know I can’t talk until she’s done. She always puts her all into whatever she’s working on. I also really liked that she sets the highest standards for herself. Like she pretty much won’t stop until it’s perfect.

That amount of drive has always been something I admired about her. And it also extends to other facets of our lives, not just the creative part.

Myrtle: Okay, but on a scale of 1 to 10, how scary is she when, you know, she’s in her zone?

Darryl: I would say like 12.

Myrtle: Uh oh

Jasmine: I’m not that scary. No! [laughs]

Myrtle: How about you Jasmine? When Daryl’s in his creative zone, what do you find attractive?

Jasmine: You know, sometimes it’s a little bit hard to fully appreciate the other’s talent or artistic choices when we’re performing together, because sometimes we’re so focused on our own self. But when Darryl is like playing in a band without me, or acting in a scene that I’m not in, or  if he’s even just playing on the guitar or the piano at home, while I’m like scrolling on my phone in the other room, sometimes I’m taken aback and I’m just like, “Wow, that’s my husband!” I mean, I know the amount of work and practice it took for him to get to that point. So that perseverance is definitely attractiv