Modern dating is a minefield of mixed signals, ghosting, and people saying they want "real connection" while avoiding the real work it takes to build one. But what if the chaos wasn't a punishment - what if it's a mirror?

In this episode, two men pull back the curtain on how to date with radical transparency and integrity in a world full of band-aids and quick fixes.

Chris Bates, Dating Coach for Men and author of The Dating Edge, and Joel Cochran, mindset and business coach and co-creator of Wife or Bust, are on a mission to help men turn modern dating into a springboard for personal development. They talk about how childhood wounds shape attraction, why most people use dating apps like slot machines instead of filters, and what it actually means to lead with character and clarity in love.

You'll Hear:

• How to turn the mess of modern dating into a personal development game.

• The mindset shift that makes dating less about "finding her" and more about becoming him.

• Joel's simple rule that instantly lowers defensiveness and builds connection: "Questions pull. Statements press."

• Why men hear feedback better from other men - and how to build your own brotherhood.

• What "dating with integrity" really means (and why you should always close the loop instead of ghosting).

• Chris's "four legs of the stool" and how to build a solid life foundation before inviting a woman in.

• Hinge vs Bumble: why your profile isn't a highlight reel -  it's a landing page for the right woman.

If you're a man re-entering the dating world post-divorce or just tired of surface-level connections, this conversation shows you how to approach dating as a mirror for growth — to heal old patterns, lead with honesty, and build connection through curiosity instead of control.

Links & Resources

• Chris Bates: ⁠batesdates.com⁠ | @batesdates on Instagram
• Joel Cochran: ⁠proclivity.co⁠ | @joelcochran on Instagram
• ⁠Watch Wife or Bust on YouTube⁠
• ⁠The Dating Edge book available on Amazon

Connect with Tara:

• Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
• @unblockyourbs on TikTok 
• Watch the episodes on YouTube
• Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community
• Book a 1:1 call with Tara
• FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download
• Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
• Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program
• Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE

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Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.