DiscoverTrauma Free Relationship
Trauma Free Relationship

Trauma Free Relationship

Author: Tom Philp

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Join us as we explore the complexities of trauma and its profound effects on our attachment relationships. We'll delve into the science behind trauma, unravel its hidden patterns, and empower you with practical strategies for healing and building trauma-free relationships.

If you are ready to break free from the patterns of your past and create loving, secure relationships, this podcast is for you. We will provide you with the tools and insights you need to heal from trauma and build trauma-free connections that bring you joy, fulfillment, and lasting love.
105 Episodes
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In this episode we outline how to build trust after trauma by targeting two systems: the defensive/protective system and the attachment system. By the end of this podcast you will learn how both work to help and protect you, and some safe tips on how to lead more with your attachment drive to build safe and trusting relationships.
In this podcast we are going to talk about how to regain a sense of vulnerability with your partner, AND maintain a sense of safety as well. By the end you will be able to know what vulnerability looks like, what a safe partner looks like, and practical tips to practice both.
In this episode we will debunk 10 myths around relational trauma. By the end you will have more compassion for your healing journey, and begin to see that growth is really possible when we let go of some of the beliefs that surround trauma.
Building Self-Trust

Building Self-Trust

2025-10-0224:55

Join us in this episode where we explore how to build self-trust after trauma. By the end you will learn what destroys self-trust, what it looks like in your relationship, and safe tips to begin building self-trust.
In this episode we discuss how to overcome self-abandonment. This coping strategy is learned when others reject or abandon us in our moment of need. As a result we learn to ignore our needs at the expense of the needs of others. Be sure and listen to till the end where we explore ways to stay grounded in our self.
In this episode we tease apart how to understand if your trauma is impacting the relationship, or whether the relationship is the problem. Knowing what to look for and how to ask the right questions can be half the battle. Join us!
Join us in this episode as we reveal the 3 words trauma survivors struggle to say in their relationships. "No," "Help," and "Sorry," are often difficult words so say. Why? Because they come from a place where the trauma survivor was adapting to a maladaptive environment, so these words are associated with more danger than safety.
In this episode we discuss how to prevent from shutting down emotionally in your relationship. We outline where this protective strategy came from, how it shows up, and more importantly ways we can create more flexibility in this style of coping.
In this episode we break down the 5 most common ways past relational trauma can impact your current relationship. These include: Difficulty trusting self and other, emotion disregulation, unhealthy attachment patterns, exaggerated fears of abandonment and rejection, and inability to repair disruption when it occurs. Don't miss this episode!
In this episode we unpack why the fawn response, or people pleasing has become a coping strategy, and how your nervous system learned to use this strategy to keep you safe. We also outline action steps to challenge this pattern so you can feel free to say "no" without the guilt.
In this episode we unpack how to stop the trauma cycle of choosing emotionally unsafe and unavailable partners. We break down this cycles to understand each link in the chain, and more importantly, we walk through how to break this cycle.
Join us in this episode where we discuss ways to regain trust in oneself after relational/attachment trauma. We explore the emotional landscape, as well as the mindset of the trauma survivor and what they have to deal with on a daily basis, then outline science backed strategies to help regain trust. A can't miss episode!
Join us in this episode where we explore the concept of reflection and its importance in relationships. The reflective function deepens intimacy and connection by better understanding each other's internal world, allows for increased communication, helps co-regulate, and protects against trauma triggers in each partner.
Join us in this episode, were we discover the different ways misdirection moves couples away from their intended topic and down rabbit holes. This is one of the trickiest issues for couples with trauma; they get caught in communication patterns that limit their ability to stay on topic, and miss the opportunity to resolve issues and problems together.
Attachment trauma often creates a negative internal voice that can rob the trauma survivor of a more peaceful existence. Developing a nurturing internal voice is part of healing trauma. Voices such as: "I deserve this," "It was my fault," "I should be over this by now," can actually prolong the traumatic hold on the individual. Join us as we learn to create a more compassionate, loving internal self-talk.
Being able to take in or internalize the "good stuff" in your relationship is just as important as being able to know your triggers and regulate your emotions. Internalizing love, care, compassion, and empathy from your partner helps to reverse trauma and helps build a new, more positive core belief about yourself. We break down what blocks the ability to internalize the "good stuff" and discuss ways to build this important capacity.
Join us in this episode where we discuss the difference between emotionality versus true emotion in the anxious attachment style. True emotion provides valuable information and has action tendencies that allow the anxiously attached person to reach their goals. Where as emotionality is usually a combination of high anxiety that is defensive in nature and is used to avoid the more vulnerable emotions of fear and abandonment.
Join us in this episode where we discuss the mindset (Internal Working Model) of the avoidantly attached partner. Not trusting that others will be there for them, led them to turn off their longing for connection. They value their own independence and autonomy and are great at self-soothing. To rework their IWM, they need to learn to reach out to others and trust that other can be a dependable resource of comfort and soothing.
Join us in this episode where we discuss the mindset of an anxiously attached partner. This mindset, or Internal Working Model, in attachment terms, is where the individual is sensitive to fear of rejection or abandonment, and as a result needs lots of reassurance in their relationship. We discuss how this mindset comes about, and how to begin changing the anxious attachment style.
Join us in this episode where we discuss when trauma becomes part of who we are and how we see ourselves, or a part of our history. Oftentimes we can have parts of our personality that may be rooted in trauma, but overtime it becomes a part of our personality. In this episode we discuss ways to identify which is which and what to do about it.
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