Ep 19 - Your Children Are Not Weapons - When Access Goes Bad
Description
This week Ang is addressing the topic of access to your children and when it can turn sour. One of the hardest things about divorce is having a third party decide when you can and can’t see your own children. However, the court's decision is only the start of the painful process of access. Not only does it have a profound emotional impact on your children but it also deeply affects the parents, that can, and oftentimes does, lead to people making bad or selfish decisions. But, Ang is here to help guide you through this difficult time and explain how you can be the parent your child needs.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Most women that go through a divorce will unfortunately hear their children say “I hate you, I want to live with dad.” But what is the true meaning behind these words and what is the best thing you can do to help your children? Ang explains.
- When a court rules on which parent gets to see the children at what times it doesn’t always have the insight the parents do. This can lead to parents withholding access of their children to their ex partner. Ang explains why this is sometimes a necessary evil.
- However, some parents can use their children as weapons and withhold access to their ex partners for cruel and malicious purposes. Ang recounts when this happened to her and the fallout is caused.
- Don’t underestimate your children's ability to see what is happening to you during this hard time. As much as you are mindful of their emotions, they are mindful of yours. Ang shares an incredible story of how her toddler comforted her during a particularly hard time.
BEST MOMENTS
“Watching your child distressed and with tears in their eyes is something no parent wants to see.”
“Your child’s emotional wellbeing is more important than any court order.”
“Try to balance the good with the bad and try to keep your deep dark emotions controlled.”
EPISODE LINKS
https://www.instagram.com/doireallyhatemen/
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558725612414
www.linkedin.com/in/angallanburns
e-mail ang@doireallyhatemen.com
ABOUT THE PODCAST
Do I Really Hate Men?
Interesting question and one I have asked myself many times. This is not an ‘I hate men’ podcast neither is it just an account of my divorce and the many awful events leading up to and during it. This podcast is a safe space to delve into what happens when relationships end, it provides guidance on how to carry on being a functioning adult and/or Single Mum when you feel broken inside.
This podcast provides hope sprinkled with humour, at times its emotional at times inspiring and at times sad. I have a message to share with women around the world, come join me and your global sisters for a weekly dose of Superhero Mum inspiration and stories.
My mission -to help women and mothers globally to recover from relationship pain, lead meaningful happy lives and inspire their children to succeed.
NOTE – I need you to know that I don’t hate men! It’s important that you know there are many great men out there. Many fantastic fathers and single fathers trying hard to do a great job. I know little about the struggles of single fathers; however, I presume they are numerous common issues we share with these amazing men who strive to do the right thing by their children.
ABOUT THE HOST
Ang is first and foremost a very proud Mum. She is on a mission to share her experiences of both divorce and life as a single Mum. With a 25 year career in the corporate world, she has always been passionate about empowering women and those around her. She is a fully qualified life coach of 20 years and a self confessed self development junkie.
Ang has written her first book called 'Do I Really Hate Men', due to be released later this year which NEEDS to be read by women worldwide. With a high level of emotional intelligence she works tirelessly to improve the lives of womankind through her words, both digitally and at speaking events globally.
With a six year divorce behind her, Ang represented herself in court a total of 6 times. She has been a single parent of two boys for a total of 14 years. She has lived through the struggles and come out the other side. Her words, honesty and humour captivates her audience.