آموزش زبان با پادکست

If I could go back, I’d ask Jeff how he was considering conveying his message and how he thought his team would receive it. A good guide doesn’t stop at helping people change their beliefs or behaviors. Our work isn’t done until we’ve helped them accomplishtheir goals. Part of the beauty of motivational interviewing is that it generates more openness in both directions. Listening can encourage others to reconsider their stance toward us, but it also gives us information that can lead us to question our own views about them. If we take the practices of motivational interviewing seriously, wemight become the ones who think again.It’s not hard to grasp how motivational interviewing can be effective for consultants, doctors, therapists, teachers, and coaches. When people have sought out our assistance—or accepted that it’s our job to help—we’re in a position to earn their trust. Yet we all face situations in which we’re tempted to steer people in the direction we prefer. Parents and mentors often believe they know what’s best for their children and protégés. Salespeople, fundraisers, and entrepreneurs have a vested interest in getting to yes.Motivational interviewing pioneers Miller and Rollnick have long warned that the technique shouldn’t be used manipulatively. Psychologists have found that when people detect an attempt at influence, they have sophisticated defense mechanisms. The momentpeople feel that we’re trying to persuade them, our behavior takes ona different meaning. A straightforward question is seen as a political tactic, a reflective listening statement comes across as a prosecutor’s maneuvering, an affirmation of their ability to change sounds like a preacher’s proselytizing.Motivational interviewing requires a genuine desire to help people reach their goals. Jeff and I both wanted his company to succeed. Marie-Hélène and Arnaud both wanted Tobie to be healthy.If your goals don’t seem to be aligned, how do you help people change their own minds?THE ART OF INFLUENTIAL LISTENINGBetty Bigombe had already hiked eight miles through the jungle, andthere was still no sign of life. She was no stranger to a long walk:growing up in northern Uganda, she walked four miles each way toschool. She subsisted on one meal a day in a communal homesteadwhere her uncle had eight wives. Now she had made it all the way tothe Ugandan Parliament, and she was undertaking a challenge thatnone of her colleagues would brave: trying to make peace with awarlord.Joseph Kony was the leader of the Lord’s Resistance Army. Heand his rebel group would eventually be held responsible formurdering over a hundred thousand people, abducting over thirtythousand children, and displacing over two million Ugandans. In theearly 1990s, Betty convinced the Ugandan president to send her in tosee if she could stop the violence. 📱 Instagram: Luminous__english✅Website : lumilearn.irCastbox channel: آموزش زبان با پادکست◀️اطلاعات بیشتر در مورد دوره ها:◀️آیدی تلگرام @ad_lumi◀️آیدی بله foroughp✔️کانال بله: lumilearn 📚هایلایت قسمت 101 کتابThink Again✅ convey a message : پیامی را منتقل کردن✅ accomplish a goal : به هدفی دست یافتن، هدفی را محقق کردن✅ reconsider one’s stance : در موضع / دیدگاه خود تجدیدنظر کردن✅ question one’s views : دیدگاه‌های خود را زیر سؤال بردن✅ take sth seriously : چیزی را جدی گرفتن✅ seek out assistance : فعالانه به دنبال کمک بودن✅ earn sb’s trust : اعتماد کسی را به دست آوردن✅ be tempted to do sth : وسوسه شدن به انجام کاری✅ steer sb in a direction : کسی را به سمتی هدایت کردن✅ have a vested interest in sth : منفعت شخصی / مستقیمی در چیزی داشتن✅ warn against sth : درباره چیزی هشدار دادن، نسبت به چیزی هشدار دادن✅ detect an attempt : متوجه یک تلاش شدن✅ defense mechanisms : مکانیسم‌های دفاعی✅ persuade sb to do sth : کسی را متقاعد کردن که کاری انجام دهد✅ come across as : به نظر رسیدن، این‌طور برداشت شدن✅ be aligned : همسو / هماهنگ بودن✅ change one’s mind : نظر خود را تغییر دادن✅ be no stranger to sth : با چیزی بیگانه نبودن، تجربه زیادی در چیزی داشتن✅ be held responsible for sth : مسئول چیزی شناخته شدن✅ make peace with sb : با کسی صلح کردن

That was a turning point. In motivational interviewing, there’s adistinction between sustain talk and change talk. Sustain talk iscommentary about maintaining the status quo. Change talk isreferencing a desire, ability, need, or commitment to makeadjustments. When contemplating a change, many people areambivalent—they have some reasons to consider it but also somereasons to stay the course. Miller and Rollnick suggest asking aboutand listening for change talk, and then posing some questions aboutwhy and how they might change.Say you have a friend who mentions a desire to stop smoking.You might respond by asking why she’s considering quitting. If shesays a doctor recommended it, you might follow up by inquiringabout her own motivations: what does she think of the idea? If sheoffers a reason why she’s determined to stop, you might ask what herfirst step toward quitting could be. “Change talk is a golden thread,”clinical psychologist Theresa Moyers says. “What you need to do isyou need to pick that thread up and pull it.” So that’s what I did withJeff.Me: What do you appreciate most about the leaders younamed?Jeff: They all had vivid visions. They inspired people toachieve extraordinary things.Me: Interesting. If Steve Jobs were in your shoes right now,what do you think he’d do?Jeff: He’d probably get his leadership team fired up about abold idea and create a reality distortion field to make it seempossible. Maybe I should do that, too.A few weeks later, Jeff stood up at an executive off-site to deliverhis first-ever vision speech. When I heard about it, I was beamingwith pride: I had conquered my inner logic bully and led him to findhis own motivation.Unfortunately, the board ended up shutting down the companyanyway.Jeff’s speech had fallen flat. He stumbled through notes on anapkin and didn’t stir up enthusiasm about the company’s direction.I had overlooked a key step—helping him think about how to executethe change effectively.There’s a fourth technique of motivational interviewing, which isoften recommended for the end of a conversation and for transitionpoints: summarizing. The idea is to explain your understanding ofother people’s reasons for change, to check on whether you’ve missedor misrepresented anything, and to inquire about their plans andpossible next steps.The objective is not to be a leader or a follower, but a guide.Miller and Rollnick liken it to hiring a tour guide in a foreigncountry: we don’t want her to order us around, but we don’t want herto follow us around, either. I was so excited that Jeff had decided toshare his vision that I didn’t ask any questions about what it was—orhow he would present it. I had worked with him to rethink whetherand when to give a speech, but not what was in it.

Overall, motivational interviewing has a statistically andclinically meaningful effect on behavior change in roughly three out of four studies, and psychologists and physicians using it have asuccess rate of four in five. There aren’t many practical theories in the behavioral sciences with a body of evidence this robust.Motivational interviewing isn’t limited to professional settings— it’s relevant to everyday decisions and interactions. One day a friend called me for advice on whether she should get back together with her ex. I was a fan of the idea, but I didn’t think it was my place to tell her what to do. Instead of offering my opinion, I asked her to walk through the pros and cons and tell me how they stacked up against what she wanted in a partner. She ended up talking herselfinto rekindling the relationship. The conversation felt like magic, because I hadn’t tried to persuade her or even given any advice.*When people ignore advice, it isn’t always because they disagree with it. Sometimes they’re resisting the sense of pressure and the feeling that someone else is controlling their decision. To protect their freedom, instead of giving commands or offeringrecommendations, a motivational interviewer might say something along the lines of “Here are a few things that have helped me—do you think any of them might work for you?”You’ve seen how asking questions can help with self-persuasion.Motivational interviewing goes a step further, guiding others to self-discovery. You got a glimpse of it in action when Daryl Davis asked KKK members how they could hate him when they didn’t even know him, and now I want to unpack the relevant techniques in depth.When we try to convince people to think again, our first instinct isusually to start talking. Yet the most effective way to help othersopen their minds is often to listen.BEYOND THE CLINICYears ago I got a call asking for help from a biotechnology startup.The CEO, Jeff, was a scientist by training; he liked to have all thenecessary data before making a decision. After more than a year anda half at the helm, he still hadn’t rolled out a vision for the company,and it was in danger of failing. A trio of consultants tried to convincehim to offer some direction, and he fired them all. Before the head ofHR threw in the towel, she threw a Hail Mary pass and contacted anacademic. It was the perfect time for a motivational interview: Jeffseemed reluctant to change, and I had no idea why. When we met, Idecided to see if I could help him find his motivation to change. Hereare the pivotal moments from our conversation:Me: I really enjoy being the guy who gets hired after threeconsultants get fired. I’d love to hear how they screwed up.Jeff: The first consultant gave me answers instead of askingquestions. That was arrogant: how could he solve a problembefore he’d even taken the time to understand it? The nexttwo did a better job learning from me, but they still ended uptrying to tell me how to do my job.Me: So why did you bother to bring in another outsider?Jeff: I’m looking for some fresh ideas on leadership.Me: It’s not my place to tell you how to lead. What doesleadership mean to you?Jeff: Making systemic decisions, having a well-thought-outstrategy.Me: Are there any leaders you admire for those qualities?Jeff: Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., Steve Jobs

As Marie-Hélène was getting ready to take Tobie home, the vaccine whisperer the nurses called was a neonatologist and researcher named Arnaud Gagneur. His specialty was applying the techniques of motivational interviewing to vaccination discussions. When Arnaud sat down with Marie-Hélène, he didn’t judge her fornot vaccinating her children, nor did he order her to change. He was like a scientist or “a less abrasive Socrates,” as journalist Eric Boodman described him in reporting on their meeting.Arnaud told Marie-Hélène he was afraid of what might happen if Tobie got the measles, but he accepted her decision and wanted to understand it better. For over an hour, he asked her open-ended questions about how she had reached the decision not to vaccinate.He listened carefully to her answers, acknowledging that the world is full of confusing information about vaccine safety. At the end of the discussion, Arnaud reminded Marie-Hélène that she was free to choose whether or not to immunize, and he trusted her ability and intentions.Before Marie-Hélène left the hospital, she had Tobie vaccinated.A key turning point, she recalls, was when Arnaud “told me that whether I chose to vaccinate or not, he respected my decision as someone who wanted the best for my kids. Just that sentence—to me, it was worth all the gold in the world.”Marie-Hélène didn’t just allow Tobie to be vaccinated—she had his older siblings vaccinated at home by a public health nurse. She even asked if Arnaud would speak with her sister-in-law about vaccinating her children. She said her decision was unusual enough in her antivaccination community that “it was like setting off a bomb.”Marie-Hélène Étienne-Rousseau is one of many parents who have undergone a conversion like this. Vaccine whisperers don’t just help people change their beliefs; they help them change their behaviors, too. In Arnaud’s first study, with mothers in the maternity ward after birth, 72 percent said they planned to vaccinate their children; after a motivational interviewing session with a vaccine counselor, 87 percent were onboard. In Arnaud’s next experiment, if mothers attended a motivational interviewing session, children were 9 percent more likely to be fully vaccinated two years later. If this sounds like a small effect, remember that it was the result of only a single conversation in the maternity ward—and it was sufficient to change behavior as far out as twenty-four months later. Soon the government health ministry was investing millions of dollars in Arnaud’s motivational interviewing program, with a plan to send vaccine whisperers into the maternity wards of every hospital in Quebec. Today, motivational interviewing is used around the world by tens of thousands of practitioners—there are registered trainers throughout America and in many parts of Europe, and courses to build the necessary skills are offered as widely as Argentina, Malaysia, and South Africa. Motivational interviewing has been the subject of more than a thousand controlled trials; a bibliography that simply lists them runs sixty-seven pages. It’s been used effectively by health professionals to help people stop smoking, abusing drugs and alcohol, gambling, and having unsafe sex, as well as to improve their diets and exercise habits, overcome eating disorders, and lose weight. It’s also been applied successfully by coaches to build grit in professional soccer players, teachers to nudge students to get a full night’s sleep, consultants to prepare teams for organizational change, public health workers to encourage people to disinfect water in Zambia, and environmental activists to help people do something about climate change. Similar techniques have opened the minds of prejudiced voters, and when conflict mediators help separated parents resolve disputes about their children, motivationalinterviewing is twice as likely to result in a full agreement as standard mediation.

MOTIVATING THROUGH INTERVIEWINGIn the early 1980s, a clinical psychologist named Bill Miller was troubled by his field’s attitude toward people with addictions. It was common for therapists and counselors to accuse their substance-abusing clients of being pathological liars who were living in denial.That didn’t track with what Miller was seeing up close in his own work treating people with alcohol problems, where preaching and prosecuting typically boomeranged. “People who drink too much are usually aware of it,” Miller told me. “If you try to persuade them thatthey do drink too much or need to make a change, you evoke resistance, and they are less likely to change.”Instead of attacking or demeaning his clients, Miller started asking them questions and listening to their answers. Soon afterward, he published a paper on his philosophy, which found its way into the hands of Stephen Rollnick, a young nurse trainee working in addiction treatment. A few years later, the two happened to meet in Australia and realized that what they were exploring was much bigger than just a new approach to treatment. It was an entirely different way of helping people change.Together, they developed the core principles of a practice called motivational interviewing. The central premise is that we can rarely motivate someone else to change. We’re better off helping them findtheir own motivation to change.Let’s say you’re a student at Hogwarts, and you’re worried your uncle is a fan of Voldemort. A motivational interview might go like this:You: I’d love to better understand your feelings about HeWho Must Not Be Named.Uncle: Well, he’s the most powerful wizard alive. Also, hisfollowers promised me a fancy title.You: Interesting. Is there anything you dislike about him?Uncle: Hmm. I’m not crazy about all the murdering.You: Well, nobody’s perfect.Uncle: Yeah, but the killing is really bad.You: Sounds like you have some reservations aboutVoldemort. What’s stopped you from abandoning him?Uncle: I’m afraid he might direct the murdering toward me.You: That’s a reasonable fear. I’ve felt it too. I’m curious:are there any principles that matter so deeply to you thatyou’d be willing to take that risk?Motivational interviewing starts with an attitude of humility andcuriosity. We don’t know what might motivate someone else tochange, but we’re genuinely eager to find out. The goal isn’t to tellpeople what to do; it’s to help them break out of overconfidencecycles and see new possibilities. Our role is to hold up a mirror sothey can see themselves more clearly, and then empower them toexamine their beliefs and behaviors. That can activate a rethinkingcycle, in which people approach their own views more scientifically.They develop more humility about their knowledge, doubt in theirconvictions, and curiosity about alternative points of view.The process of motivational interviewing involves three keytechniques:Asking open-ended questionsEngaging in reflective listeningAffirming the person’s desire and ability to change