In Brené’s words, anguish “comes for the bones” – it strikes us at our core. People are resilient(quickly recovering), and can heal from this kind of trauma. But they need support. Otherwise, they may go through the motions, while remaining internally numb or “crumpled.” Or they may respond to the pain by becoming rigidly(inflexibly) perfectionist, shutting out all vulnerability to try and stay upright. Good support allows you to experience the pain while learning how to rebuild your life. Some of the best support comes from body-centered therapies that address the physical manifestation(sign) of trauma in the body.

Anguish is sudden, and bewildering(confusing), and painful. But it’s not nearly as dangerous as two other emotions we can experience when we’re feeling bad: hopelessness and despair. These two are connected, but they’re not the same.

A feeling of hopelessness comes when you’re not able to set realistic goals for your life. If you do have a goal, you can’t figure out how to achieve it. And if you try and fail, you become discouraged(Frustrated) and start beating yourself up(criticize). You have no faith in your own abilities, or sense that you have agency(the ability to act and influence) in your life.

While feeling hopeless often relates to a specific situation, like your relationship or finances, despair encompasses(includes) your entire life. It’s the feeling that your whole life is hopeless, and that it will never change. You’re stuck and can’t find a way out.

Feeling like this often leads to suicidal thoughts and attempts. If you’re in emotional pain, and feel like there’s no way out, then it makes a distorted(twisted) kind of sense that ending your life is the only thing you can do, the only way to have some agency in the situation. 

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📚هایلایت قسمت نهم خلاصه کتاب 

Atlas of the heart

✅anguish : اندوه

✅strike at core: ضربه عمیق زدن

✅core: هسته

✅resilient : تاب آور

✅heal: خوب شدن

✅otherwise : در غیر این صورت

✅Go through motions: از روی بیمیلی کارها رو انجام دادن

✅internally : از درون

✅numb: بی حس

✅crumpled : مچاله

✅rigidly : بطور سفت و محکم

✅inflexibly: بدون انعطاف

✅perfectionist : کمال گرا

✅shutting out : خفه کردن

✅vulnerability : آسیب پذیری

✅upright : محکم و صاف

✅rebuild : بازسازی

✅body-centered : بدن محور

✅Manifestation : نشانه

✅bewildering: گیج کننده

✅hopelessness : نا امیدی

✅despair : یاس

✅realistic goals: اهداف واقع گرایانه

✅discouraged : دلسرد

✅frustrated : نا امید

✅beating yourself up: خود سرزنشی

✅criticize : نقد یا سرزنش کردن

✅faith: باور

✅agency : نیروی فعال

✅influence : اثر

✅specific situation : شرایط خاص

✅finance : امور مالی

✅encompass : در بر گرفتن

✅entire life : همه ی زندگی

✅suicidal : وابسته به خودکشی

✅attempt : تلاش

✅emotional pain: درد روحی

✅distorted : کج و معوج، اشتباه

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