Luminous English

Holding these paradoxes with warmth and curiosity will help you on your journey to discovering and celebrating the terrain(physical landscape) of your own heart. Like any journey worth taking, there are no shortcuts. You’ll need to clamber (climb with difficulty) over many obstacles(setbacks), and find your sharp edges. Keep going. Lean into the messy stuff and contradictory stuff. Embrace the sheer vulnerability of being alive. Final summaryEmotional granularity means being able to identify our emotions and experiences and express them to other people. The more nuanced and specific the words are that we have for emotions, the more expansive(broad) our inner worlds will be. Becoming attuned to our emotional states allows us to build loving relationships with ourselves, and the people around us. And here’s some more actionable advice: Take a time-out when you’re overwhelmed. If you feel flooded by emotions like fear or anger, the rational part of your brain shuts down. That’s not a great state to be in during a fight, or in a situation where you need to make a decision. Build time-outs(breaks) into your communication with people you love. When you’re overwhelmed, take some time by yourself to breathe deeply and process. When you’re feeling calmer, you can pick up where you left off.  کانال عادت های اتمی: @english_prismکانال موزیک: @Luminous_musicکانال مکالمات روزمره: @foroughpapiپیج اینستاگرام: luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت پانزدهم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart✅paradoxes : تناقضات✅warmth : گرما، صمیمیت✅curiosity : کنجکاوی✅journey : سفر✅discovering : فهمیدن✅celebrating : گرامی داشتن✅terrain : ساحت✅shortcut : میانبر✅clamber : به سختی بالا رفتن✅obstacles : موانع✅edge : لبه✅messy stuff : مسائل پیچیده✅contradictory : متناقض✅embrace : پذیرفتن✅vulnerability : آسیب پذیری✅granularity : قابل تفکیک بودن✅identify : شناسایی کردن✅nuance : ظرافت✅expansive : گسترده✅actionable : عملی و کاربردی✅overwhelmed : آشفته✅rational : منطقی✅time-out : وقفه✅communication : ارتباط➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

And, like so many emotions, gratitude can be practiced, and learned. Keeping a gratitude journal, or taking a moment each day to name one thing that you’re grateful for out loud, trains your brain to look for more similar experiences. Key idea 8Become comfortable with paradox.Over the course of these chapters, we’ve traveled to two emotional places: where we go when we’re hurting, and some places we go when life is treating us well. As you’ve already discovered, there’s nothing simple about this inner exploration. The seemingly neat categories of “sad” and “happy” are bursting with nuance(complexity) and contradictions.  We’ve gone over how sadness can make us feel good, and that happiness can be less rewarding than joy. We’ve discovered that emotions can lodge(settle) themselves in your body, as well as your mind. And that, to a surprising degree, you can influence how you feel by practicing skills like hopefulness.  Emotional granularity is messy(Complicated). To go there, really go there, you need to get comfortable with paradoxes. Paradoxical elements seem opposite to each other. But, really, they’re linked. Like light and dark. One doesn’t really exist without the other.  As the navigator of your own emotions, you’ll need to become more and more comfortable with emotional paradoxes. How you crave (desire) closeness to others, but act in ways that shut yourself off; or how you can lead a board meeting with confidence, but crumple every time you need to speak to your mother. کانال عادت های اتمی: @english_prismکانال موزیک: @Luminous_musicکانال مکالمات روزمره: @foroughpapiپیج اینستاگرام: luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت چهاردهم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart✅gratitude : قدرشناسی✅journal : دفتر یادداشت✅grateful : قدر دان✅travel: سفر کردن✅treating : رفتار کردن✅discover: قهمیدن✅inner: درونی✅exploration : کاوش✅seemingly : ظاهرا✅bursting : منفجر شدن✅nuance : پیچیدگی✅complexity : پیچیدگی✅contradiction : تناقض✅sadness : ناراحتی✅lodge : ساکن شدن✅influence : اثر گذاشتن✅hopefulness : امیدواری✅messy: شلوغ و پیچیده✅paradoxes : تناقضات✅opposite : مخالف✅exist : وجود داشتن✅navigator : هدایتگر✅crave : خواستن✅closeness : صمیمیت✅Board meeting: جلسه هیئت مدیره✅Crumple: مچاله شدن➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

Joy is also a bit unsettling(causing anxiety), even scary. Feeling joyful is so wonderful that it can make you feel vulnerable and afraid of losing that joy. Brené describes that experience as foreboding(a strong feeling that something terrible is going to happen) joy. It’s what happens when you watch your children while they’re sleeping, and feel an enormous stab of joy(a sudden, intense, and overwhelming feeling of joy) accompanied by a deep and irrational fear that something terrible will happen to them. It’s a way of rehearsing tragedy in your mind in an attempt to make it feel less painful when it actually happens because in the moment of joy you realize how much you actually have to lose.  Most of us are so used to foreboding joy that we don’t even consciously realize what we’re doing. We start to feel like it’s normal, or realistic to expect the worst. But living that way costs you the incredible benefits of freely experiencing joy.  There’s a man who Brené interviewed in her study on vulnerability who’d gone through(to experience something unpleasant) his life expecting the worst, as a kind of emotional armor. And then the worst actually happened to him. His wife died in a car accident. He realized that his previously pessimistic outlook had done nothing to prepare him for that painful event. All it did was rob him of(take something away from)the ability to fully enjoy the time he’d had with his wife when she was alive.  To allow yourself to experience joy is to practice appreciating what you have, in the moment that you have it. In fact, researchers have found that joy and gratitude are linked, in what they describe as a positive “upwards spiral.” If gratitude is one of our traits, we’ll have more experiences of joy in the moment. If we’re joyous types, we’ll have more moments of feeling grateful. The emotions positively reinforce(strengthen) each other. کانال عادت های اتمی: @english_prismکانال موزیک: @Luminous_musicکانال مکالمات روزمره: @foroughpapiپیج اینستاگرام: luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت سیزدهم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart✅unsettling : اضطراب آور✅scary : ترسناک✅joyful : شاد✅vulnerable : آسیب پذیر✅foreboding : نگران کننده✅terrible : وحشتناک✅enormous: بزرگ✅accompanied by: همراه با✅rehearsing : تمرین کردن✅tragedy : تراژدی✅attempt : تلاش✅consciously : آگاهانه✅expect : انتظار داشتن✅incredible : عالی✅benefits : مزایا✅freely: آزادانه✅experiencing : تجربه کردن✅interview : مصاحبه✅Go through : تجربه کردن✅armor : زره✅previously : قبلی✅pessimistic : منفی✅outlook : نگرش✅rob sb of sth: چیزی رو از کسی گرفتن✅appreciating : قدر دان بودن✅gratitude : سپاسگزاری✅upwards spiral : مارپیچ رو به بالا✅traits : خصوصیات✅positively : بطور مثبت✅reinforce : تقویت کردن➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

Happiness and joy are not the same thing.On the other side of the spectrum(on the other hand), there’s happiness. We all know what that word means, right? After all, how many love songs have been written about it? Well, actually, even the most expert happiness researchers – people who spend their whole lives studying the emotion – can’t agree on exactly what it means. Most research to date(until now) has been about happiness as a trait, or part of who we are, rather than as a state – something we experience at times. Even more confusingly, happiness is often conflated(combined) with joy. Those words are used interchangeably to describe a positive state. But in her research, Brené has discovered that, in fact, happiness and joy are very distinct(different). Happiness is a long-lasting emotion that usually comes as a result of feeling in control. Happiness makes us focused on ourselves, or our own achievements. Joy, on the other hand, comes on suddenly without warning. It’s short and fleeting(temporary), and very high intensity. It focuses our attention outwards, instead of inwards, and makes us feel connected to other people, or God, or the universe. It makes us feel free, and alive, and awake. Joy is intensely pleasurable, and is accompanied by a sense of gratitude and appreciation. کانال عادت های اتمی: @english_prismکانال موزیک: @Luminous_musicکانال مکالمات روزمره: @foroughpapiپیج اینستاگرام: luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت دوازدهم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart✅joy: شادی✅on the other side of the spectrum: از طرف دیگر✅actually : در واقع✅expert: متخصص✅emotion : احساس✅to date : تا کنون✅trait : خصیصه✅rather than: نسبت به✅confusingly : بطور گیج کننده✅conflated: در آمیخته✅interchangeably : به جای هم✅distinct : متمایز✅long-lasting : طولانی✅achievement : دستاورد✅suddenly : ناگهان✅fleeting : گذرا✅intensity : شدت✅outwards: بیرون✅inwards: درون✅universe : جهان هستی✅awake : هوشیار✅pleasurable : لذت بخش✅accompanied : همراه✅gratitude : قدر دانی✅appreciation : سپاس گذاری➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

When you’re feeling flooded by despair, stop to ask yourself the 3 Ps. First, personalization: if you’re taking it personally, ask yourself, “Is this situation really about me? What outside factors play a role that I haven’t accounted for(paid attention to)?” If it feels like the situation will last forever – which is the second P, permanence – do a quick thought experiment, and ask yourself: “Will this be a big deal in five minutes? Or five days? Or five months?” And if it feels like the problem is pervasive and has consumed your whole life, take a moment to stop and really consider its impact. You may have screwed up(made a major mistake) at work, but does that really mean you’ve destroyed your family and all your friendships?  These strategies offer a pause button when you’re feeling flooded and overwhelmed. They offer your rational brain a chance to rejoin the party, and help you to put your experiences in perspective(Offer a new way of seeing).  Sadness, anguish, and despair are all painful, and difficult. But they can also be incredible teachers. As resilient humans, it’s possible for all of us to move through these feelings, becoming more engaged and empathetic and courageously vulnerable as we do. But you can’t do it alone. You need to be able to ask for help, and get the right kind of help that’s appropriate to that specific emotion.کانال عادت های اتمی: @english_prismکانال موزیک: @Luminous_musicکانال مکالمات روزمره: @foroughpapiپیج اینستاگرام: luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت یازدهم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart*️⃣Flood: سیل*️⃣Despair: یاس*️⃣Personalization: شخصی سازی*️⃣Take sth personally: به خود گرفتن*️⃣Outside factors: عوامل خارجی*️⃣Account for: در نظر گرفتن*️⃣Situation: موقعیت*️⃣Last(v): طول کشیدن*️⃣Permanence: دوام*️⃣Thought: فکر*️⃣Experiment : آزمایش*️⃣A big deal: یک مسئله مهم*️⃣Pervasive: فراگیر*️⃣Screw up: اشتباه کردن*️⃣Destroy: نابود کردن*️⃣Button: دکمه*️⃣Rational : منطقی*️⃣Put sth in perspective : با دید بازتر به چیزی نگاه کردن*️⃣Anguish: اندوه*️⃣Incredible : عالی*️⃣Courageously: شجاعانه➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖💛مرسی که به دوستانتون معرفی میکنین💛

In order to strengthen your resilience in the face of (in front of) hopelessness and despair, there are a number of important and practical things you can do, which is what we’ll find out in the next chapter. Key idea 6Hope is a skill, not an emotion.To combat(fight) hopelessness and despair, let’s start with hope. We think of hope as being a warm and fuzzy emotion. But that’s actually not true. In fact, being hopeful is a skill that you can learn. Being hopeful comes from being able to set realistic goals, figure out how to meet the goals and believe in your own abilities. Hope comes from encountering adversity(difficulty), and discovering that you can be resilient(able to recover) in the face of it. To learn hopefulness, you need to practice setting goals that you can actually meet. Even more important, you need to become comfortable with failure and be prepared to try new approaches if the first one doesn’t work. The best thing about learning to be hopeful is that it’s infectious(if a feeling is infectious, it spreads to other people.). For example, researchers have shown that hopeful parents generally have hopeful children. Apart from practicing your hopeful skills, you can also practice increasing your resilience by working with what researcher Martin Seligman calls “the 3 Ps”: personalization, permanence(remain the same for a long time), and pervasiveness(quality of being spread out). In the last chapter, we were talking about how despair feels all-encompassing(overwhelming) and permanent. People in that state often take it very personally, beating themselves up for failing or letting down(disappointing) their families. کانال عادت های اتمی: @english_prismکانال موزیک: @Luminous_musicکانال مکالمات روزمره: @foroughpapiپیج اینستاگرام: luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت دهم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart🍁resilience : تاب آوری🍁in the face of: در مواجهه با🍁hopelessness : نا امیدی🍁despair : یاس🍁emotion : حس🍁combat : مبارزه کردن🍁fuzzy : نرم🍁realistic goals : اهداف واقعگرایانه🍁figure out : فهمیدن🍁encountering : مواجه شدن🍁adversity : سختی🍁discovering : فهمیدن🍁comfortable : راحت🍁failure : شکست🍁prepared : آماده🍁approaches : روش ها🍁infectious : واگیردار🍁personalization : شخصی سازی🍁permanence : دوام🍁pervasiveness : شیوع🍁spread out: گسترش پیدا کردن🍁all-encompassing : فراگیر🍁overwhelming : فراگیر🍁permanent : دائم➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖💛مرسی که به دوستانتون معرفی میکنین💛

In Brené’s words, anguish “comes for the bones” – it strikes us at our core. People are resilient(quickly recovering), and can heal from this kind of trauma. But they need support. Otherwise, they may go through the motions, while remaining internally numb or “crumpled.” Or they may respond to the pain by becoming rigidly(inflexibly) perfectionist, shutting out all vulnerability to try and stay upright. Good support allows you to experience the pain while learning how to rebuild your life. Some of the best support comes from body-centered therapies that address the physical manifestation(sign) of trauma in the body.  Anguish is sudden, and bewildering(confusing), and painful. But it’s not nearly as dangerous as two other emotions we can experience when we’re feeling bad: hopelessness and despair. These two are connected, but they’re not the same.  A feeling of hopelessness comes when you’re not able to set realistic goals for your life. If you do have a goal, you can’t figure out how to achieve it. And if you try and fail, you become discouraged(Frustrated) and start beating yourself up(criticize). You have no faith in your own abilities, or sense that you have agency(the ability to act and influence) in your life. While feeling hopeless often relates to a specific situation, like your relationship or finances, despair encompasses(includes) your entire life. It’s the feeling that your whole life is hopeless, and that it will never change. You’re stuck and can’t find a way out.Feeling like this often leads to suicidal thoughts and attempts. If you’re in emotional pain, and feel like there’s no way out, then it makes a distorted(twisted) kind of sense that ending your life is the only thing you can do, the only way to have some agency in the situation. کانال عادت های اتمی: @english_prismکانال موزیک: @Luminous_musicکانال مکالمات روزمره: @foroughpapiپیج اینستاگرام: luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت نهم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart✅anguish : اندوه✅strike at core: ضربه عمیق زدن✅core: هسته✅resilient : تاب آور✅heal: خوب شدن✅otherwise : در غیر این صورت✅Go through motions: از روی بیمیلی کارها رو انجام دادن✅internally : از درون✅numb: بی حس✅crumpled : مچاله✅rigidly : بطور سفت و محکم✅inflexibly: بدون انعطاف✅perfectionist : کمال گرا✅shutting out : خفه کردن✅vulnerability : آسیب پذیری✅upright : محکم و صاف✅rebuild : بازسازی✅body-centered : بدن محور✅Manifestation : نشانه✅bewildering: گیج کننده✅hopelessness : نا امیدی✅despair : یاس✅realistic goals: اهداف واقع گرایانه✅discouraged : دلسرد✅frustrated : نا امید✅beating yourself up: خود سرزنشی✅criticize : نقد یا سرزنش کردن✅faith: باور✅agency : نیروی فعال✅influence : اثر✅specific situation : شرایط خاص✅finance : امور مالی✅encompass : در بر گرفتن✅entire life : همه ی زندگی✅suicidal : وابسته به خودکشی✅attempt : تلاش✅emotional pain: درد روحی✅distorted : کج و معوج، اشتباه➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

Feeling sad is an important part of being human. It’s a natural reaction we have to loss or defeat – something we all experience. Because we all know sadness, we can recognize it in others and empathize with our friends when they’re hurting. Empathizing with your friend and making time for them comes from your own lived experience of sadness. Feeling sad allows you to feel alive, and connected to other people. It can also help us to make better decisions, because we become more sensitive to our surroundings(people around us).  Think about how popular sad movies are, and how satisfying it can be to cry on the couch in front of the TV. Those experiences make you feel moved, and connected to other people.  So, this is what it means to feel sad. But there are other emotions and experiences that we have when we’re hurting that are very distinct, but are often lumped under the “sad” label. For example, people can experience anguish(great mental or physical suffering), or grief, or hopelessness, or despair. These emotions have very different qualities and require different reactions from us. Key idea 5Anguish comes for the bones. (affects someone at a very deep level)Anguish. Anguish feels shocking, unexpected, and often traumatic. And it can hit us on a primal(fundamental), physical level, too. This happened to Brené one day when she got a call from a childhood friend out of the blue(suddenly). The friend told her that she’d felt suicidal due to a childhood trauma Brené didn’t know about. When she heard this from her friend, she physically crumpled to the floor(collapsed).کانال عادت های اتمی: @english_prismکانال موزیک: @Luminous_musicکانال مکالمات روزمره: @foroughpapiپیج اینستاگرام: luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت هشتم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart✅natural reaction : واکنش طبیعی✅defeat : شکست✅sadness : ناراحتی✅empathize : همدلی کردن✅decision : تصمیم✅sensitive : حساس✅surroundings: محیط✅popular:محبوب ✅satisfying : لذت بخش✅emotion : احساس✅distinct : متمایز و جدا✅lump: توده، جمع شدن✅anguish : اندوه✅mental : روانی✅grief : غم✅hopelessness : نا امیدی✅despair : یاس✅shocking : شوکه کننده✅unexpected : غیرمنتظره✅traumatic : آسیب زا✅primal: اصلی✅fundamental : اساسی✅childhood : بچگی✅suddenly : یکهو✅suicidal : وابسته به خودکشی✅crumple: نقش بر زمین شدن✅floor: زمین➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

Brené believes that having those insights into your emotional states allows you to feel connected to yourself, instead of feeling numb and disembodied(disconnected). And that connection with the self creates the foundation for genuine, loving connections with other people.  Perhaps most importantly, being able to precisely articulate(talk about) your feelings means that you’ll be able to ask for – and receive – the specific help that you need.  So let’s take two commonly discussed emotions – sadness and happiness – and see how expanding your emotional vocabulary will help you to better understand and navigate your inner landscape. Places you go when you’re hurting.We’ve all been there, many times. Something happens that causes us to feel bad, and we usually describe the emotion we have in response as feeling sad. But what does that mean, exactly? “Sad” is not the same as being depressed. Depression is a chronic(lasting for a long time) condition, while sadness can be a fleeting(temporary) feeling we experience in response to a particular situation. کانال عادت های اتمی:     @english_prismکانال موزیک:        @Luminous_musicکانال مکالمات روزمره:      @foroughpapiپیج اینستاگرام:      luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت هفتم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart💫insight: بینش، آگاهی💫numb:کرخت💫disembodied: جدا، قطع ارتباط💫self : خود💫foundation: پایه💫genuine : واقعی و اصیل💫precisely : دقیقا💫articulate: صحبت کردن💫commonly : بطور رایج💫discuss : بحث کردن💫expand: گسترش دادن💫navigate: راه را پیدا کردن💫inner : درونی💫landscape : چشم انداز💫hurt : آسیب دیدن💫response: واکنش، پاسخ💫depressed: افسرده💫depression: افسردگی💫chronic: مزمن💫fleeting : زودگذر💫particular : خاص➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

The point is . . . language is important. It’s a bridge between ourselves and other people – It allows us to express how we’re feeling, and, crucially(definitely), get the help we need. But when it comes to emotions, most of us are just like that person with the painful shoulder. We just don’t have the words to describe what’s happening in us to others . . . or to even understand it for ourselves. Here’s something fascinating: Brené describes how she and a team of researchers asked 7,000 people to identify all the emotions they experienced. And guess what? The average number of emotions people listed were – wait for it – three: sad, angry, and happy. That’s it: mad, sad, glad. Of all the emotions in the world, all the nuance(subtle detail) of human experience, most people could only describe them in three categories. And the reason that’s a problem is just like the painful shoulder: it’s as if you could only tell the doctor that you have a pain somewhere in the upper half of your body. And you could only describe that pain as “bad,” instead of say, that it’s throbbing(pounding), or aching, or shooting pain. The ability to have the awareness of, and the precise language to describe your emotions is what researchers call “emotional granularity(Detail).” This granularity can benefit your life in many ways.  Having the right words allows you to identify your feelings and figure out where they come from. And if you can identify your triggers, you’ll be much better equipped to find ways to comfort yourself. کانال عادت های اتمی:     @english_prismکانال موزیک:        @Luminous_musicکانال مکالمات روزمره:      @foroughpapiپیج اینستاگرام:      luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت ششم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart💫Bridge: پل💫Express:ابراز کردن💫crucially : مهمتر از همه💫definitely : قطعا💫When it comes to: وقتی صحبت از …میشه💫fascinating : جالب💫identify : شناسایی کردن💫Average: میانگین💫nuance : جزییات💫subtle detail : جزییات ریز💫Category : دسته💫upper half of your body: بالا تنه💫throbbing: درد نبض دار💫pounding : نبض زدن💫Shooting pain: تیر کشیدن💫ability : توانایی💫awareness : آگاهی💫precise: دقیق💫granularity : ریزه کاری💫trigger: محرک💫equipped : مجهز💫comfort : آرام کردن➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

With Atlas of the Heart she created a guide for people who, like her, are scared of pain. People who feel all the things, but don’t know what to do with their intense emotions. People who want to find another way to relate to others when they’re fearful. People who are yearning for(have a strong desire or longing for) vulnerability.  So, let’s start exploring this atlas in greater detail. The book itself covers 87 emotions. We’re going to take a closer look at just a few of these. And though the emotions are very common, you just might be surprised about what’s actually underlying(beneath) them. Key idea 3Expand your emotional vocabulary.But hang on(wait). Is there a point to all of this? We can’t all be world renowned emotions experts like Brené, so why should the rest of us spend the time learning more about our feelings?  Well, consider this. Imagine you have a sharp, shooting pain(Sudden sever pains that move through the body) in your shoulder. It’s excruciating(hard to bear) and won’t go away, and it’s starting to get in the way of your life. So, you rush to the emergency room. A kind, caring doctor comes in and tries to find out what’s wrong. As you start to tell her, something strange happens: you can’t get any words out. You can only point to the general part of your body where the pain is occurring, but you can’t pinpoint(explain exactly) the exact location. So, she can’t help you. You’re frustrated, and your shoulder continues to hurt. کانال عادت های اتمی:     @english_prismکانال موزیک:        @Luminous_musicکانال مکالمات روزمره:      @foroughpapiپیج اینستاگرام:      luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت پنجم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart✅intense: شدید✅emotions : احساسات✅fearful : ترسیده✅yearning: مایل بودن✅vulnerability : آسیب پذیری✅underlying : زیر✅beneath : زیر✅expand : گسترش دادن✅hang on: صبر کردن✅renowned : مشهور✅experts : متخصصین✅shooting pain: دردی که تیر میکشه✅excruciating : طاقت فرسا✅emergency room: اورژانس✅general part : ناحیه کلی✅occurring : اتفاق افتادن✅pinpoint : اشاره کردن بطور دقیق✅explain exactly : دقیق توضیح دادن✅exact location : محل دقیق✅frustrated : ناتوان، ناکام➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

Key idea 2You can’t stop walking on eggshells if they’re taped to your feet.We often say that someone who’s very sensitive to other people’s moods or reactions is walking on eggshells(to be very careful or cautious in order to avoid upsetting someone or causing conflict). In her own words, Brené felt like the eggshells were “duct-taped(fixed) to the soles of her shoes.” She was hypersensitive to the world around her – so attuned(understand) to what might go wrong that it felt excruciating(extremely difficult to bear).  She tried drowning out those feelings through partying, smoking, and drinking. And while all of that did succeed in numbing(make something less sensitive) her, it also meant the world got blurry. She could no longer observe what was going on inside of people. She was fearful and anxious, and was so scared of feeling pain that she chased experiences that made her feel even more pain. She was, as she says, “taking the edge off”( make something less intense) through alcohol. But taking that edge off was also muffling(silence) her magic – her superpower.  Recognizing this, with the help of a good therapist, Brené started a long, hard process of regaining her edge(regaining her power). She stopped drinking, and started learning how to feel again, how to embrace(understand and accept) pain and messy vulnerability and feelings that are not exactly pleasant or easy to experience.  Today, Brené values her sensitivity to emotions. It shows her where her boundaries are. It teaches her what she needs. It allows her to tune into the people around her(focusing her attention on the emotions, thoughts, and behaviors of the people in her environment.). And it’s fueled quite an extraordinary career.کانال عادت های اتمی: @english_prismکانال موزیک: @Luminous_musicکانال مکالمات روزمره: @foroughpapiپیج اینستاگرام: luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت چهارم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart ✅sensitive : حساس ✅walking on eggshells : محتاط بودن ✅duct-taped: چسبیده ✅hypersensitive : خیلی حساس ✅attuned : آگاه ✅excruciating : طاقت فرسا ✅numbing : بی حس کردن ✅blurry : تار و مبهم ✅fearful : ترسیده ✅taking the edge off: کم کردن شدت ✅muffling: خفه کردن و از بین بردن ✅superpower : قدرت ماورایی ✅regaining her edge : دوباره به دست آوردن قدرت ✅embrace : پذیرفتن ✅vulnerability : آسیب پذیری✅Fuel: سوخت، برانگیختن✅Extraordinary: فوق العاده✅Career: حرفه➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

 And so, she became very observant (someone who is observant notices things that are not usually noticed.). She learned to identify people’s soft spots(weak points), or what she now calls everyone’s “shame triggers” – like the ill-timed jokes or misjudged requests that might set someone off(make somebody angry or upset).  Besides just her parents, she began to notice how other adults around her would channel(use, direct) their anger into everyday moments, like watching sports or road rage(when a driver gets very angry). She understood that those situations were often completely unrelated to what was really making them angry.  At the time, Brené didn't know what to do with all this emotional awareness. Nobody at home talked about their feelings, or expressed them much at all. The only acceptable emotion was anger – and just because Brené could predict the outbursts, it wasn't any less painful when she was on the receiving end of them. Of course, emotional awareness is precisely what Brené Brown is known for today. It's a superpower she's honed over(developed) a stellar(extremely successful, impressive, and noteworthy) career, and a skill she passes on in Atlas of the Heart.📱کانال عادت های اتمی: @english_prism📱کانال موزیک: @Luminous_music📱کانال مکالمات روزمره: @foroughpapi📱پیج اینستاگرام: luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت سوم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart✅Observant:مراقب، هوشیار✅Identify:شناسایی کردن✅Soft spot:نقطه ضعف✅Trigger:محرک✅ill-timed:بد موقع✅misjudged requests:درخواست بیجا✅Set somebody off:کسی رو عصبانی کردن✅Besides:به غیر از✅She began to notice:کم کم متوجه شد✅Road rage:عصبانیت هنگام رانندگی✅Unrelated to:بی ربط به✅Awareness:آگاهی✅Express:ابراز کردن✅Acceptable:قابل قبول✅Predict:پیش بینی کردن✅Painful:دردناک✅Precisely:دقیقا✅Hone:بهتر کردن✅Pass on:منتقل کردن➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

A child with magic powers.Growing up, Brené Brown was sure she had magic powers – that she could predict the future, and make connections no one else around her could. She remembers how her high-school swim coach had an explosive temper (to get really angry or lose control easily), and that all her classmates were terrified(deeply scared) of him. They couldn’t quite figure out why he would suddenly get so angry all the time. But Brené knew. She’d noticed he’d freak out(lose one's cool) when people weren’t trying hard in practice. It didn’t matter how talented you were – if you weren’t one hundred percent committed to improvement, you’d set him off (make him angry). On the other hand, if he saw you were taking the practice seriously, he’d never get angry at you, even if you were a mediocre(not excellent) swimmer. And he loved the backstroke(swim on the back).  So, Brené worked on her backstroke. In order to stay under the radar and not piss off (make sb angry) her teacher, she gave it her all(put in all her energy and effort). Staying under the radar(to avoid attracting attention) was the main function of the heightened levels of awareness she'd developed as a kid – what felt like her magic powers. It helped her navigate her home life, with her complicated parents. In public, her parents were sociable(outgoing), kind, and fun. But, behind closed doors at home, their behavior was unpredictable. Their moods would swing wildly(change constantly), and they could get pretty angry without much, if any, warning. It was confusing, and it made Brené and her four siblings feel ashamed. After all, their parents only behaved like this when they were at home – so it was only natural that it made Brené and her siblings feel it was their fault that they got so upset. On top of that, Brené was the oldest of the kids, so she felt like it was her job to protect everyone else from their outbursts (a sudden and strong expression of anger). 📱کانال عادت های اتمی: @english_prism📱کانال موزیک: @Luminous_music📱کانال مکالمات روزمره: @foroughpapi📱پیج اینستاگرام: luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت دوم خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart🎉Grow up: بزرگ شدن🎉Magic: جادویی🎉Power: قدرت🎉Predict: پیش بینی کردن🎉Explosive: انفجاری🎉To be terrified of: ترسیدن از🎉Figure out: فهمیدن🎉Freak out: از دست دادن کنترل🎉Talented: با استعداد🎉Committed: متعهد🎉Set sb off: کسی رو عصبانی کردن🎉Take sth seriously:جدی گرفتن چیزی🎉Backstroke: کرال پشت🎉Mediocre: خیلی معمولی🎉Piss off: عصبانی کردن🎉Give sth your all: تمام تلاش خود را کردن🎉Stay under the radar: جلب توجه نکردن🎉Sociable: خونگرم🎉Swing: بالا پایین شدن🎉Feel ashamed: حس شرم داشتن🎉Outburst: انفجار خشم➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

Introduction Imagine you’re stumbling around(move clumsily or uncertainly, often due to unfamiliarity with surroundings) in the dark, in an unfamiliar city, trying to find your way to a bright light twinkling on a distant hill. You see dark shapes that you think you recognize(know), but you’re not quite sure what they are. You know you want to get to that light, but the way there involves crossing deep gorges(a narrow steep-sided valley) and climbing menacing(dangerous) hills. And there’s no clear path in sight.  You might feel lost like this – without a clear sense of where you really are in your emotional landscape. You might struggle (do something with difficulty) to even name your feelings. Or to understand feelings that come on strongly. Like why is it that that particular person always pushes your buttons(to say or do something that upsets or angers someone)? Is there a deeper meaning to the emotions that you’re feeling, or is it just a sign that you need to get some rest? You want to understand, but the answers to those questions lie just out of reach, in that foggy darkness. And in your search for answers, you’re rocked by emotions, blown off course, left feeling lost and bewildered(confused), and sometimes in despair(loss of hope). You know you want to get to a place where you feel grounded(emotionally and mentally stable), and content(happy) – but it seems elusive(hard to reach), like that bright light on the hill: always around that next bend, never coming closer in view.  Nowadays, it’s becoming more common to talk about emotions. Talk shows now use words like “trauma” regularly, and we can talk about experiences of vulnerability(being easily hurt) and depression much more openly than we used to. But do we really understand what these words mean? Can we recognize the difference between joy and happiness? What about shame and guilt? We still have so much to learn about emotions. And that’s where Brené Brown comes in: she’s able to offer clarity on the things that shape our lives.  In this book summary, we’ll gain some orientation of our emotional landscapes with an atlas – the Atlas of the Heart. We’ll learn how to start navigating(dealing with) our feelings with more nuance(details) and more clarity. So, let’s get into it! In these chapters, you’ll learnwhy hopelessness and despair are the most dangerous emotions you can experience;How understanding your emotions will transform(change) your relationships; andwhy happiness and joy are not the same.📱کانال عادت های اتمی: @english_prism📱کانال موزیک: @Luminous_music📱کانال مکالمات روزمره: @foroughpapi📱پیج اینستاگرام: luminous__englishCastbox channel: luminous english📚هایلایت قسمت اول خلاصه کتاب Atlas of the heart❤️imagine: تصور کردن❤️stumble around: تلو تلو خوردن❤️unfamiliar: نا آشنا❤️distant: دور❤️recognize: شناختن❤️gorge: دره❤️menacing: خطرناک❤️landscape: منظره❤️struggle: کشمکش کردن❤️name: نام بردن❤️push someone's buttons: کسی رو عصبانی کردن❤️lie: قرار گرفتن❤️bewildered: گیج❤️despair: یاس❤️to feel grounded: حس ثبات و آرامش داشتن❤️content: راضی❤️elusive: دور از دسترس❤️vulnerability: آسیب پذیری❤️joy: خوشی❤️navigate: دست و پنجه نرم کردن❤️nuance: ظرافت❤️transform: تغییر شکل دادن

Human connection is one of the most powerful defenses we have against low moods(bad moods). Studies show that quality(high quality) relationships protect our physical and emotional well-being throughout our lives. When it comes to making us happy, relationships are far more important than money, fame, social class, genes, and all the markers(signs) of status we’re taught to strive for(search for). And if you don’t have anyone in your personal life that you can call at the moment? Don’t worry; it’s never too late to make meaningful connections! Therapists can help you learn or regain that ability. If you work on yourself, your relationships improve, and if you work on your relationships, your mental health improves. Final summaryIn this book, we explored how we can improve our overall mental well-being by looking for the unmet needs that cause emotional pain, by focusing on “good enough” decisions that gradually get us to where we’d like to be, by facing our fears to build our confidence and keep anxiety at bay(push away, control), and by nurturing(foster, improve) our relationships and caring for each other when we’re feeling down. Please note that although this book provided strategies for how we can help ourselves improve our mental health, sometimes professional help is still necessary. If you are worried about your mental health, seek the professional support of a therapist. If professional services aren’t available to you, find resources to learn all that you can about recovery and be sure to rely on the support of trusted loved ones.📚هایلایت ۱۰ خلاصه کتاب Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?♥️قسمت آخر♥️✅Human connections: روابط انسانی✅Defense: دفاع✅against: در برابر✅quality(adj):با کیفیت✅protect:محافظت کردن✅well-being:سلامتی✅throughout: در طول✅fame: شهرت✅strive for: تلاش کردن✅markers: شاخص ها✅personal life: زندگی فردی✅meaningful: معنی دار✅regain: مجددا به دست آوردن✅ability: توانایی✅keep sth at bay: چیزی را دور نگه داشتن✅nurture: پرورش دادن✅although: اگرچه✅necessary: لازم✅seek: دنبال چیزی بودن✅seek help:کمک گرفتن✅available: در دسترس✅rely on: تکیه کردن➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖🌟اگر واستون مفید یا جالب بود لطفا به دوستاتونم معرفی کنید❣️🌟https://t.me/luminous_bookclub🌟https://t.me/english_prism🌟Instagram page: luminous__english🌟Castbox channel: luminous english🌟 YouTube channel: luminous_english♥️ Music Channel: @luminous_musics

At some point in your life, you’ll probably find yourself in the opposite situation – caring for someone else who’s having a hard time. Supporting someone you love who’s struggling can be stressful, and it can also make you feel inadequate(incompetent). But remember, caring for others in times of stress is one way to heal ourselves, too. So here are a few pointers(advice) from Dr. Julie that can help you feel more confident in the supporting role. First, don’t forget about the power of simply being with someone who’s depressed. Checking in and showing you care can go a long way(make a big difference). If you don’t know what to say or how to help them, ask how you can be supportive. Often a person you’re supporting knows what they need. What they don’t always know is that there’s someone in their life who’s willing to help them. And if your loved one has a particular diagnosis, be sure to read up on(Learn about) it to get more concrete(practical) advice on the specific challenges they’re facing. Next, help them with practical matters. Someone in emotional pain might feel completely overwhelmed(Feeling such strong emotions that you don't know how to react) by something as simple as washing the dishes or cooking dinner. Quietly helping your friend with small tasks like this can provide them with significant relief. Listen to your loved one with compassion and openness, and try not to give advice unless they ask for it. It’s likely they’ll feel more respected and heard if you instead reflect what they’ve said back to them. And don’t be afraid to change the subject sometimes! Caring for someone doesn’t mean you have to focus on their struggles the whole time. Distraction and new inputs can also be helpful to them.📚هایلایت ۹ خلاصه کتاب Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?🍀At some point: یه زمانی🍀Probably: احتمالا🍀Opposite situation: شرایط برعکس🍀Struggle(v): سختی کشیدن🍀Stressful: استرس آور🍀Inadequate:ناکافی 🍀In times of: در زمان🍀Heal: بهتر شدن🍀Pointer:توصیه🍀Supporting role:نقش حمایتگر🍀Check in: احوال کسی را پرسیدن🍀Go a long way: تفاوت زیاد و خوب ایجاد کردن🍀Willing: مشتاق🍀Read up on: اطلاعات پیدا کردن🍀Concrete advice: توصیه ی کاربردی🍀Emotional pain: درد روحی🍀Significant: زیاد🍀Relief: آرامش🍀Compassion: مهربانی🍀Openness:پذیرش🍀Unless: مگر اینکه🍀Reflect:انعکاس دادن🍀Struggles(n): مشکلات🍀New inputs: ورودی های جدید➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖🌟اگر واستون مفید یا جالب بود لطفا به دوستاتونم معرفی کنید❣️🌟https://t.me/luminous_bookclub🌟https://t.me/english_prism🌟Instagram page: luminous__english🌟Castbox channel: luminous english🌟 YouTube channel: luminous_english♥️ Music Channel: @luminous_musics

Ask for help when you need it, and learn to give it in return.It can be hard to ask for help. Cultural taboos(something that is considered unacceptable or offensive in a particular culture), expensive therapists, and a lack of availability are all barriers(obstacle) to seeking professional mental help services. But it can sometimes be especially hard to ask for help from the people that we know. That’s because, sadly, depression often makes us push people away when we need them most. It’s very common to believe that showing people around you that you’re struggling is burdensome(hard to bear). You then withdraw(distance) from people, believing that your depressed self will only bring other people down(make them sad). But here’s something powerful to remember the next time you feel that way: the positive effects of social support go both ways(the benefits of providing support are not just limited to the person receiving the support. The person providing the support can also experience positive effect). Studies indicate(show) that when someone provides somebody else with even low-level social support, it changes their brain chemistry in such a way that they themselves experience positive emotions, like courage and hope. It can even help them with the harmful effects of trauma and chronic(lasting for a long time) stress. Yes, that’s right – you’re doing yourself and your loved ones a good thing when you let them help you when you need it. Knowing this, don’t be afraid to call your loved ones when you’re down. Human connection is one of the most powerful tools we have for maintaining our mental relationship, and social isolation only makes depression worse. It might be hard at first. You might not feel like you have much to say or anything at all. That’s OK. Share whatever thoughts you can manage, or just be with people, watching them or taking a quiet walk together. The research tells us that simply being with others who care is still helpful, even when we don’t feel like being around others.📚هایلایت ۸ خلاصه کتاب Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?✅In return: در عوض✅Cultural taboos: تابوهای فرهنگی✅Therapist: تراپیست✅Lack: فقدان✅Availability: در دسترس بودن✅Barrier: مانع✅Seek: جستجو کردن✅Sadly: متاسفانه✅Depression: افسردگی✅Make sb do sth:کسی رو مجبور به انجام کاری کردن✅Push away: دور کردن✅Common: رایج✅Struggle: سختی کشیدن✅Burdensome: سخت✅Withdraw: فاصله گرفتن✅Bring sb down: کسی رو ناراحت کردن✅Positive effects: اثرات مثبت✅Social support: حمایت اجتماعی✅To go both ways: دو طرفه بودن✅Indicate: نشان دادن✅Chemistry: شیمی✅Positive emotions: احساسات مثبت✅Courage: شهامت✅Harmful effects: اثرات منفی✅Trauma: ضربه✅Chronic: مزمن✅Human connection: ارتباط انسانی✅Maintain: حفظ کردن، نگه داشتن✅Social isolation: انزوای اجتماعی✅Make sth worse: چیزی رو بدتر کردن✅Quiet: آرام✅Simply: صرفا✅To be around sb: پیش کسی بودن➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖🌟اگر واستون مفید یا جالب بود لطفا به دوستاتونم معرفی کنید❣️🌟https://t.me/luminous_bookclub🌟https://t.me/english_prism🌟Instagram page: luminous__english🌟Castbox channel: luminous english🌟 YouTube channel: luminous_english♥️ Music Channel: @luminous_musics

Remember that courage precedes(comes before) confidence. You have to face your fears in order to overcome them. Fear is part of any new situation you find yourself in, any creative risk you take, and all learning experiences. So if you want to live a life with creativity, risk, and growth, facing fear is essential. OK, that’s all well and good in theory – but what if you try and stretch your confidence, but find yourself in a situation where your anxiety is spiking(increasing) and it feels like it’ll overwhelm you? What if you thought you were ready for the supermarket, but find yourself hyperventilating(rapid breathing, caused by anxiety or fear) in the produce aisle?  First, don’t worry – you’re not alone. Many of Dr. Julie’s patients are experiencing these kinds of flare-ups(when a symptom or problem suddenly gets worse or more intense) when they first step into her office, so one of the first skills she often teaches new patients is a technique called square breathing. It’s an easy-to-learn practice from Dr. Julie’s toolkit that can help you in any situation where anxiety might turn into panic. The best part? You can do it anywhere, and nobody will even know you’re doing it! Here’s how it works: First, find something square – a window, a picture frame, anything with four corners. Next, gaze upon the bottom left corner of the square, and count to four as you breathe in, moving your eyes up to the top left corner. Hold your breath for four seconds, moving your eyes to the top right corner. Exhale for four seconds as you move your eyes to the bottom right corner. Hold your breath again for four seconds as you move your eyes back to the bottom left corner. That’s it. Breathing deeply will calm your anxiety, and following the square will ensure(make sure) you do it long enough for the benefits to kick in(To start to have an effect or to happen). Give it a try(give it a shot) the next time you feel panic starting to build.📚هایلایت ۶ خلاصه کتاب Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?✅precede: جلوتر بودن✅courage: شجاعت✅confidence : اعتماد به نفس✅Overcome: غلبه کردن✅Creative:نوآورانه✅Growth:رشد✅Essential :مهم✅Stretch:بسط دادن✅Spike:جهش یافتن✅Hyperventilating :نفس نفس زدن از اضطراب✅aisle: راهرو✅Produce aisle:قسمت میوه و سبزیجات فروشگاه ها✅Step: قدم گذاشتن✅Square: مربع✅Corner: گوشه✅Gaze: خیره شدن✅Hold: نگه داشتن✅Ensure: اطمینان حاصل کردن➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖🌟اگر واستون مفید یا جالب بود لطفا به دوستاتونم معرفی کنید❣️🌟https://t.me/luminous_bookclub🌟https://t.me/english_prism🌟Instagram page: luminous__english🌟Castbox channel: luminous english🌟 YouTube channel: luminous_english♥️ Music Channel: @luminous_musics

Learning how to manage anxiety will open up your life.Choosing healthy behavior step by step is also the most effective way to deal with anxiety. If you struggle with anxiety, you know it’s no fun – at best, it’s uncomfortable, and at worst, it can completely take over (take control of) your life. Because anxiety is something we all experience, it’s no surprise that one of Dr. Julie’s most commonly asked questions is how to make it go away. Managing anxiety is about facing fears. The most tempting(enticing, attractive) way to deal with fear is to run away from it by avoiding the situations that make it flare up(Intensify, worsen). But here’s the thing about fear: The more we avoid it, the more we feed it in the long run. And what’s worse is that if we let fear dictate our choices, our lives become smaller and smaller. Let’s say that, during the pandemic, you started to become anxious in crowded places. So you started to avoid busy areas. Then you found yourself feeling uncomfortable in public transport and in supermarkets too, so you decided to avoid those as well. After some time, you became unwilling(reluctant) to spend time around people you didn’t know well. Eventually(finally), your anxiety has created a situation where you’re barely(hardly) able to leave the house. So how do you get your life back? The key is to go easy on yourself(take it easy), and not to reintroduce(bring back) every anxiety-inducing situation(the situation that is likely to produce anxiety) at once. That will likely overwhelm(confuse) your brain and cause you to give up. Pick one that feels the most manageable and start there. Step back into a supermarket, sit with the fear(take the time to reflect on or process the fear), step out, and give yourself time to recover. Do it again the next day and watch your confidence grow gradually over time. Once you can go to the supermarket without the strong urge to flee(run away), reintroduce the next element in your life, like public transportation. As long as you don’t flood yourself with anxiety(drown yourself in anxiety), you’ll be able to take your life back, layer by layer. This same approach of incrementally(increasingly) facing fears works for building your confidence, even if you aren’t especially anxious but want to become more daring(brave). Your confidence will grow over time if you find the courage to face the things that make you feel squeamish(uncomfortable, anxious), as long as you do it gradually and with repetition, with ample(large) recovery time, and you don’t put yourself in situations that will cause you to panic. 📚هایلایت ۶ خلاصه کتاب Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?Manage: مدیریت کردنAnxiety: اضطرابOpen up: گشودنStep by step:قدم به قدمEffective:موثرStruggle:کشکمش داشتنAt best:در بهترین حالتAt worst:در بدترین حالتTake over:تسخیر کردنCommon:رایجGo away: محو شدنFace:روبرو شدنTempting:وسوسه برانگیزFlare up:شعله ور کردنFeed:پروراندنDictate:دیکته کردنPandemic:پاندمیUnwilling:بی میلEventually:در نهایتOverwhelm: دربر گرفتنSit with sth:پذیرش داشتنGradually:کم کمUrge: نیازFlee:فرار کردنIncrementally:قدم به قدمSqueamish:حساس ،نازک نارنجی➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖🌟اگر واستون مفید یا جالب بود لطفا به دوستاتونم معرفی کنید❣️🌟https://t.me/luminous_bookclub🌟https://t.me/english_prism🌟Instagram page: luminous__english🌟Castbox channel: luminous english🌟 YouTube channel: luminous_english♥️ Music Channel: @luminous_musics