Chapter 2

Conflict(fight, disagreement) is part and parcel (integral or inseparable part) of any relationship, but there is a correct way to fight.

All couples fight. In fact, fighting can be a therapeutic(if something is therapeutic, it helps you to feel happier and more relaxed) and even healthy way for couples to express their differences and learn more about each other. Research shows that the happiest couples are the ones who can handle(deal with) conflict, listen to their partner and try to understand their point of view. But if done wrong, fighting can exacerbate (to exacerbate a bad situation means to make it worse, worsen) unstable relationships and lead to incidents (an incident is an event, especially one involving something unpleasant) that cause irreconcilable(impossible to find agreement, cannot be settled) breakups(separations).

To help make sure your relationship doesn’t go down that road(steering the relationship away from a negative outcome), go on date number two. This date is all about addressing conflict(Solving problems

,Fixing issues). Before going on it, you should identify potential areas of conflict in your relationship.

Start by individually(Separately) listing the most significant (important) differences between you. Perhaps you and your partner have different approaches (way of thinking) to drugs and alcohol. Or perhaps you have different definitions of cleanliness around the house. While listing all these differences, also consider possible ways you can accommodate each other’s preferences(take each other’s opinion or demands into account so that the plan or decision is acceptable to them). But also be ready to accept the possibility that some differences cannot be resolved(fixed).

With this exercise in hand, it’s time to go out on your date. It’s best to have this date somewhere more private, in case things get heated(Become intense). Take turns talking and listening. Go through your lists of differences one by one, explain why the issue is important to you and explore possible compromises (agreements, settlements). It might also be a good idea to discuss how each of you experienced conflict in your respective families(Individual families), as this can directly impact how you handle(solve, manage) conflict today.

Now, it’s possible that this date ends in a fight. Luckily, there are some ways you can heal these fresh wounds right away and turn the fight into a learning experience. For example, once the fight has calmed down, take turns explaining how you felt during the fight. Try to figure out what triggered it, so you can both avoid this conflict in the future. Finally, discuss how you might act differently in your next fight. Was there some point where your partner crossed a line? Figure out(find out) ways you can engage(take part) in conflict more productively(Successfully, efficiently).

💕📚هایلایت قسمت 3 خلاصه کتاب Eight dates 📚💕

✅ conflict : مشکل، اختلاف

✅ therapeutic: درمانی

✅ express : ابراز کردن

✅ handle : مدیریت کردن

✅ point of view: نظر

✅ exacerbate: بدتر کردن

✅ unstable: ناپایدار

✅ lead to : منجر شدن

✅ incident : اتفاق

✅ irreconcilable: برگشت ناپذیر

✅ breakup: جدایی

✅ addressing conflict: حل کردن مشکل

✅ potential areas: نواحی احتمالی

✅ individually : جداگانه

✅ significant : مهم

✅ approach : رویکر

✅ accommodate presences : درنظر گرفتن ترجیحات

✅ resolve : حل کردن

✅ private : خصوصی

✅ get heated : بالا گرفتن، تنش دار شدن

✅ compromise: مصالحه

✅ respective:مربوطه

✅ luckily : خوشبختانه

✅ fresh wounds : زخم های تازه

✅ calm down : آرام شدن

✅ figure out : فهمیدن

✅ trigger : شروع کردن

✅ cross the line: از خط عبور کردن

✅ engage : شرکت کردن

✅ productively: بصورت مفید

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